26 November 2012
Out of all Gods creatures large and small
I thought rabbits were the best of all.
I loved their tails, and ears, and teeth,
But now I know there’s evil beneath.
They appear so cute, and cuddly, and nice,
But now I know different
Because I’ve paid a price.
I’ll tell you a story you’ll find hard to accept
An enormous secret for years I have kept
One day I was walking
My friend and I talking
When we saw a fantastic sight
I had to check that I was awake
‘Cos what I saw wasn’t right.
I said “crikes”
My friend just fled
He ran and hid and he cried in his bed.
I thought, now if I could just reach out and grab it
I’d have captured the world’s biggest black rabbit.
The rabbit was huge, as big as a goat
With enormous brown eyes, and the shiniest coat.
It looked like any rabbit that I’ve ever seen
But its size and weight were almost obscene.
“Hello there” I said with a welcoming grin
And the rabbit said “Run - or I’ll do you in.”
It raised itself up and it started to growl
A noise which loosened my quivering bowels.
From its feet sprang claws as sharp as a knife
And I tell you my friend – I was scared for my life.
And I froze.
Yes I froze – I just couldn’t budge
And I felt down my legs my bodily sludge.
I had messed myself, and messed myself bad;
I should have fled when my best friend had.
After that it was all a blur;
I have no fingers where fingers once were,
And I woke up in hospital in ten kinds of pain
Incredibly lucky that I hadn’t been slain.
So now when I see rabbits in a home or outside
You know the reason I appear terrified.
The Rabbit • Opuss № I