@em99sh

Thanks to all those men and women in uniforms. Especially the ones in camouflage. They got left out, cuz they are hard to see. -Ellen Degeneres.

@keynell

Smartphones

The smarter the phone, the dumber the battery..

@ac263

Death Or Job

As a child, I was afraid death was the worst thing that could happen to me, till I got a proper job..

@parky72

My Favorite Mean Girl Quotes

"this is Damien. He's almost to gay to function." "four for you glen coco. You go glen coco.

@OnceUponATimelife1

Opuss

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button..

@Danny714

Lies!

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead yet?.

@Smoothie

The Rule Of Maths

The rule of Maths: If it seems easy, your probably doing it wrong..

@hallofrumors

Playing Hard To Get

I heard that girls like it when I play hard to get, so I've locked myself in my apartment & turned off my phone. Now, I wait..