Me; in a nutshell.
I keep forgetting about this app, and I apologize.
Feedback would be greatly appreciated. c:
You
You're so talented
So beautiful
So smart
So bright
So friendly
And that doesn't even begin to start-
Stop
Fucking stop
I can't handle this
I don't deserve a drop of it
I'm nothing but a liar
A lukewarm-hearted confused mess of a liar
And I love you all
I really do
But I cannot fucking stand half of you
See
Just
I don't make sense
I can't tell if it's the abandonment or my resilient lack of defense
Just
Back up
I need to breathe
I absolutely adore all of the spotlight
But I can't act like it doesn't burn me
I hate what I need
And love what I shouldn't
It's like being stuck in a hole while holding a shovel
But I couldn't
I wouldn't
But god damnit, I want to
Can't help but stare lovingly at what's left of the past stuck to my shoes
And
When
Did I get so angry
So angry all of the time
You, you watch your mouth, learn your place
You, get your stuck-up superiority complex the fuck out of my face
You, I can't remember why I chose you in the first place
Me- stop being such a goddamn waste of space
Sabrina
Stop this shit
Play your music
Watch your grades
Flash the smile that people seem to love
Swallow all of this sudden hate
People have it so much worse
And really, honestly, I'm aware
And I'm breaking my spine every second
Every time
To make sure people know I truly care
But it wears you down
To nothing but a breakdown waiting to happen
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
Louder
And
Louder
It
Will
Never
Stop
And it doesn't bother me too much most of the time
But then one of those days come around
And it's like
Well
Okay
Time to shine-
Fuck this
Fuck you
Fuck everything any of you ever put me through
You built me up so high, you had to predict that I'd end up crumbling around you
I mean
Look at this structure
It's basically tape and glue
All thrown together
And now it's tumbling down around you
You
All of you
Have created a monster
And I'm afraid that even the strongest of firearms can't stop her
She's lost
She's confused
She's got everything yet absolutely nothing to lose
She's glorifying what's left of the past that's stuck to her shoes
And she's breaking down quickly
So decrepit and sickly
And she's running out of reasons almost as quickly as the seasons
To keep up the image we all want her to.
Sabrina Smith©December 2012
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