21 April 2012
(Intro - News at Ten music)
Breaking news....... "Welcome to the BB-SEE News at Ten! We are live at the Conservative Party's annual conference meeting, for an unprecedented press call, which is just about to start........"
"Today we are delighted to have appointed a new minister for fair trading. He's a little rough around the edges, but has lots of experience and is very determined, he has signed an irreversible 4 year contract, we are very delighted to have him join our party"
"Who is he?" "What's his name?" "Where is he?" "Where did he come from?"
(Cough, cough.....) "Ladies and gentlemen allow me to introduce myself, I'm the new Minister For Fare Trading, innit bruv"
"My first biggest decision, yea, is to hold this bullshit coalition government accountable for illegal arms trading, illegal contracts in war torn countries but, most important of all yet, defo not limited to.......child sex slave trades"
"Oh my fucking god" "Jesus Christ" "What are doing you little fucking shit?"
"That's right you fuck heads, I'm in fucking charge now. For da next 4years We is gonna change dis shit, for real"
"My fellow chavs, listen up, we have infiltrated their ranks, yeah Put down your shanks, fam Rise up my deprived nation Become free again Rise up and take your share. Change is upon us Take over everywhere"
......"I'm sorry there seems to be an imposter here at the Conservative Party's annual conference.....erm, back to the studio"
Fare Trade Minister • Opuss № I