God Spoke After A Toke

* Had this for a while and forgot about it, lol. See my "strike me oh mighty striker" post and "o come all ye fruitcakes" for reference to this post)

(intro-
ring, ring, ring, ring, ring)

"Hello, Gods office, how may we help you?"
"Errr yeah is the big dude in?"
"Hmmm, which "BIG DUDE" would that be sir?"
"Don't get fucking smart with me, you know god damn well who I mean."

"I'm sorry, God's staff will not be spoken to like that, good bye. Jerk!"

(ring, ring, ring, ring, ring)

"Hello, Gods office, how may we help you?"
"Errr yeah, errr, is God in please?"
"1 moment sir, if you could just hold the line, I'll put your through"

(Waiting music - O Come All Ye Fruitcakes)

"Hurry up bitch, I got shit to do, yeah"

"This be God my brother, what can thy do for thee this day?"

"Well you can start by telling ME where the fuck you were when I needed YOU!!"

"Thy will not be spoken to like that by thee"

"Fuck you you overrated dick......."

(lightning strike and thunder sounds)

"Fuck man, I was just talking to God and really pissed him off and then, like, well, this lightning just, fuck man, I'm going to hell now"

Relax.....
Take another hit on the bong
How can the world be so wrong
Take another long toke
Relax, get high, God has spoke
If you have a 50 pound note
I'll snort up all this lovely coke
Forget all these fears
Chillax with a beer
Fuck the world today
It's my turn too play.

(outro - melodic chilled music)