19 June 2012
For my friend @Weirdwolf (private joke) ;-)
Show 1 - Cardboard King
"Welcome to The Jeremy Lyle Show! On today's show: A deluded guy you may know He says he is the king of all of Opussia A self proclaimed deluded royal ruler? Well let's find out, please welcome Duluno to the show."
"Ok Duluno what makes you think you are king?" "Um....Well....Yeah.....She told me things... .....And I got this....Er.....Crown, see. Hey! Why is everyone laughing at me?"
"Ok Duluno, who told you these things? Are you sure you're not day dreaming? What things does she say that you're believing? We can all see your "crown" dude, it's touching the ceiling."
"Well.....Er....Um.....Mummy says I'm smart...... .....My....Er...Online Mistress has my heart... STOP LAUGHING AT ME.....stupid people I'm the true king and my crown is big like a steeple."
"Okie Dokie Duluno, well we have the results from the lie detector test (as if we haven't wasted enough time already on this yetl) Ok Duluno, so, the results are....negative You're a bloody jerk and need to get a life Your "mistress" won't be your wife You need to stop being a bloody jerk! All you're doing is getting yourself hurt Dude, you're wearing a flipping cardboard crown Now grow up and stop your messing around."
"Er....Um.....It can't be true....She loves me.... .....STOP LAUGHING! IT'S NOT FUNNY!! I am king! My crown was made by mummy Um....Er...I feel sick.....I.....Er...need some shit in my tummy."
"Get off my show! You're still deluded some how We provided proof but still you won't believe it, even now. My audience is laughing cos you're a berk Now get off my show before I go berserk."
"Ladies and gentlemen please join us on the next show When we have another moron to expose Who claims he breathes fire from his nose. Goodbye for now and remember: don't believe everything you're told."
Jeremy Lyle Show(1) • Opuss № I