6 September 2012
For @sjw and @naaviie sorry it's crap but I don't watch soaps......honest lol xx
"Alright geezer" said Alfie Moon "No I've lost the plot in this episode you bafoon"
Why do soap operas try to reflect "normal" life? Dot's in the laundrette waffling to 5 character's ex-wife's Cos everyone on Eastenders has no washing machine Yes Dot's got no fags and she's acting all mean
A long lost family member nobody even remembers appears from nowhere Takes over the Queen Vic and becomes an instant criminal they all fear
Still it reflects our lives with the postman who robbed the letters They always keep a character but change to a new bloody crap actor
I wanna see a pearly king and queen family eating jellied eels Where's the London red buses and how comes they have the correct change at the tills? Where's the rough family that deals in drugs Where's all the teenagers who stay out all night to mug?
Do these soaps have the same writers? I watch Eastenders, then Emmerdale has the same dodgy fights What happened to the good old soaps Like el dorado, prisoner cell block h and brookside close?
All the characters are stereotyped and related by blood or marriage Ian's had more wife's and ben's eating porridge Long drawn out story lines I don't care about What happened to Pete's veg stool and why does Bianca always scream and shout?
They even had the olympic torch on a show that was live "Where was the drama to put out that flame" I sighed This crap is filmed a few months ahead Last year it snowed but Walford had none yet
"Turn this crap over" I'd say to her indoors She replies "You could always do some house work if you're really that bored" So I just sit and pretend I know what's going on Until she asks me questions at the end during that poxy outdated theme song
London Rant (4) - Soaps • Opuss № I