P.V.S.D

Not like me to be apathetic
Or unwilling to pull it together.
One whose passion frequently overflows,
And who all storms can weather.

But wide awake I lie here.
My stomach with hunger groans
I ignore the gnawing.
Let it eat me to my bones.

Flung so far for so long,
Counting down the days once more
It's an ineffective tactic
To keep despondence from my door.

What I need is some distraction
To occupy my reeling mind,
To help me forget the feeling
Of being left behind.

That feeling makes no sense, I know,
Since I'm the one that does the leaving.
But lying here awake, alone,
For my life there I am grieving.

I left those I love to come here,
And one whom I adore.
I feel his absence every minute,
Now like never before.

But my strength I must rally
And my passion I must wake.
To waste this opportunity
Would be a huge mistake.

I'm doing a job I care about
In a beautiful town by the sea
Whose only minor flaw
Is that here he cannot be.

So I swallow back my tears
And I close my aching eyes
And I'll dream about the day
I'll say hellos and not goodbyes.