9 April 2012
The call comes in that a man in the local takeaway is being beaten by two men. When i get there its all over.. One man is being helped back to his feet by passing public. The two 'offenders' have already turned in their heels. I ask what happened to which i'm informed; " I only came in to pick up some food, i stood in the queue and these two guys behind me just started throwing punches" 'Do you know who they are? I ask, hoping to get a head start. 'No idea.'
I start my usual routine.. Secure the cctv, details of witnesses etc..
As i start taking a statement, a staff member of the store tries to get my attention.. "excuse me" he says. " Im the delivery driver here.. Those guys your looking for.... Ive just delivered a pizza to them"
30 minutes after the man had been assaulted i knock on the door.. The door is opened by a man who looks stunned. Im greeted with the first words "How did you find us?"
Gotcha.
Turns out the numpty's had gone into the takeaway to get some food.. After a giving some poor guy a beating they ran off.. Only to get home and think 'Im still hungry'.. The other Numpty said 'Lets get it delivered' and called the same shop as the one they had just left!
Eating Can Be Dangerous • Opuss № I