thecookiemonster
There are two kinds of evil: the REALLY evil then those who haven't followed me yet. FOLLOW me now!
And baby everything I have is yours, You will never go cold or hungry, I'll be there when you're insecure, Let you know that you're always lovely, Girl, you are the only thing that I have right now. Sing this to me and you will have my un…
The tears swell up in a girl's eyes, On the verge of distress, Her arms open wide, Embracing the bitter breath of Mother Earth, Her eyelids flutter, Looking down at the scope of possibilities below her feet, The end of time, A simple step …
I want to write a new story about a bad boy called Trey Cox-Jones (Jones) and a 'normal' (by the standards of my private school) girl called Cheryl Johansson (Cher) who eventually end up as friends. I'm writing this entirely on impulse but…
I wanna write 'I miss you." on a rock and throw it at your face so you know how much it hurts that you're not here.
A friend and I had a conversation about dinosaurs and we came to the conclusion that T-Rex's are only so angry because their arms are too short to hug each other.
“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe th…
I walk out the bakery and this is what I see: Catniss Everdeen staring at me! I've got some bread in my hand and I'm not afraid to throw it, throw it, throw it! I'm Peeta and I know it!
10. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again? 9. I'm not drunk I'm just intoxicated by you. 8. If beauty were time, you'd be eternity. 7. You're so sweet you could put Cadbury's World out of business. 6. Did it hurt w…
1. You're reading this right now. 2. You are realising this is a stupid fact. 4. You didn't notice I skipped three. 5. You're checking now. 6. You're smiling. 7. You're reading this even though you realise it is stupid. 9. You didn't notice…
I want to write a new story about a bad boy called Trey Cox-Jones (Jones) and a 'normal' (by the standards of my private school) girl called Cheryl Johansson (Cher) who eventually end up as friends. I'm writing this entirely on impulse but…
I walk out the bakery and this is what I see: Catniss Everdeen staring at me! I've got some bread in my hand and I'm not afraid to throw it, throw it! I'm Peeta and I know it!
Remember me? I'm the girl who was dressed head to toe in black, you and your friends pointed and laughed. I cried and my heart died. Remember me? I'm that celebrity who loves pink and fake tan, you and the paparazzi judged and lied, I mov…
Someone's fantasy is another's reality.
We hate. We love. We fight. We kiss. We enjoy. We miss. We need. We demand. We want. We get. We are. Who we. Are.
There are two types of evil in this world: the really evil and those who haven't followed me. Press the FOLLOW button NOW.
It's my birthday on Tuesday!
I wanna write 'I miss you." on a rock and throw it at your face so you know how much it hurts that you're not here.
What my To Do List looks like: I'm not doing shit today. Mission accomplished!
I like being weird! Weird's all I've got and that's my sweet style!
"What did your parents get you for Christmas?" "I told my parents I only wanted one thing this Christmas: Stop friending me on Facebook."
If Barbie is so pretty why do I have to buy her boyfriends?
I wish my brain had a map which told my heart where to go.
Sarcasm - just one of the many services I offer.
“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe th…
For those of you who have watched or read the Hunger Games, Catniss & Peeta = Penis
Like if when you say you've tidied your room you mean you've made a path from the door to your bed.
A friend and I had a conversation about dinosaurs and we came to the conclusion that T-Rex's are only so angry because their arms are too short to hug each other.
Mummy doesn't chop the sandwiches the way I like anymore, Not like before. In fact, usually she doesn't make sandwiches, Or listen to my wishes. She pours me a bottle of water, And like a pig ready for slaughter, She shoos me out of the ho…
I'd like to thank my beautiful, amazing fans for all their support and I wish you lots of prosperity and smiles :) I have flown from a mild 378 to a world stopping 88 and all I have to thank is you - my amazing followers. All my love, TheC…
The tears swell up in a girl's eyes, On the verge of distress, Her arms open wide, Embracing the bitter breath of Mother Earth, Her eyelids flutter, Looking down at the scope of possibilities below her feet, The end of time, A simple step …
I wanna get drunk today, I wanna get high on lemonade, I wanna scream my name out loud, and I wanna do it now now now. I wanna do it now now now. I wanna do it now now now. I wanna do it now now now. I wanna make out with Gordon, I wanna k…
Picture perfect memories, Waiting for the phone to ring, Playing with the diamond, On my gorgeous wedding ring. Other girls prayed for this kind of guy. But he was mine. Slipping through my hands, Like perfect golden sand, And, On the bed, …
Rules: 1. No more name ideas are accepted at this point. 2. Please comment the name of your choice. 3. You may vote twice. Nominees for names: 1. Nom-noms 2. Cookmons 3. Sugarcubes 4. Fraggles 5. Heartbeats
5. Yo mama so fat God told her he had no room in heaven and the devil said there was no room in hell. 4. Yo mama lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray. 3. Yo mama nose so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat! 2. Yo mama so stupid …
Those of you who are fans of desorton (the island girl who recently deleted opuss) I'm not sure whether my accusation is correct (she could have made the site though i doubt it) press this link: http://www.coolfunnyjokes.com/ and compare t…
What should I name my followers? - My heartbeats - My dollies - My nom-noms - My fraggles - My sugarcubes
10. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again? 9. I'm not drunk I'm just intoxicated by you. 8. If beauty were time, you'd be eternity. 7. You're so sweet you could put Cadbury's World out of business. 6. Did it hurt w…
I'm not weird. Babe, I'm limited edition.
When life gives you lemons, squeeze them into people's eyes.
P1: "Did you just fall over?" P2: "No, I attacked the floor!" P1: "Backwards?" P2: "I'm freaking talented!"
"I'm a ninja." "No, you're not." "Yeah, I am." "Prove it." "Did you see that?" "See what?" "Exactly."
We are the best of friends. Remember that if you fall I will always pick you up - after I finish laughing.
My daily routine: - wake up - be amazing - go back to sleep
1. You're reading this right now. 2. You are realising this is a stupid fact. 4. You didn't notice I skipped three. 5. You're checking now. 6. You're smiling. 7. You're reading this even though you realise it is stupid. 9. You didn't notice…
Voldemort is like a teenage girl - he has a tiara, a diary, a pet he adores and an obsession with a famous teenage boy.
When a woman says 'What?' it doesn't mean he didn't hear you, it means she's giving you a chance to change what you said.
Going to McDonald's for salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.
Quitting smoking is easy! I've done it plenty of times!
Dear Maths, You know what? I'm fed up of finding your 'x'. She's gone, dude! Get over her!
My new name for any of my followers is The Dollies - like if you like it! Comment if you hate it (only if you have another suggestion)
Like if I should continue 'Him and Me' or comment if I should continue 'Why Do I Love You?' Thank you my babies!
"Another round, dude." demanded Stephen, as he emptied the small glass in front of him. The hot, sweaty bodies were grinding without a care in the world behind him but to him sitting beside the bar, getting drunk seemed so much more appeali…
There was a certain urgency portrayed in his heartless yet desperate words, "Please leave." There on his bed, laid his girlfriend, her white t-shirt around her neck and her short, red bodycon skirt strewn messily over HIS study chair. Scra…
Every body - go on to the AppStore and get the free app WATTPAD it will change your life - the first thing you should read is Singing In The Rain by BelieveInPink because I WROTE IT! It is like Opuss but longer stories.
Who wants me to continue Him And Me?
Making out with your non-existent boyfriend? Making out with your existent boyfriend? Eating cookies? Dancing to Lady Gaga 'Born This Way'? Telling yourself you are beautiful? What are you doing? Comment?
Like if you think I swear too much.
"We are in deep shit." stated Daniel, staring at the broken china saucer on the floor. "Whoa! Don't try and put the blame on me - you are in deep shit." Seconds later, in walks Daniel's mother, not noticing the plate she greets me. "Hello!…
Wouldn't it be the perfect crime if I stole your heart and you stole mine?
There was love then there was lurve. Me and Danny had the second, his solid abs were glistening with sweat as he made his way towards me, smirking as he noticed me checking him out. Wrapping his muscular arms around my waist, I leant my hea…
Isn't it funny how you can type in Wikipedia on Wikipedia and Wikipedia comes up?
"12 Ways To Get To A Girls Heart." 1. Hug her from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you guys walk next to each other. 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. Dont force her to do ANYTHING! 6. Write little notes…
Be a Fruit Loop in a world full of Cheerios.
Life was so much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.
When I get sad, I stop being sad and get awesome instead. True story.
When nothing goes right, go left.
Trust is like paper: once its crumpled it can never be perfect again.
Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?
Hush little homo, don't you cry! Mandy's going to steal you a Prada tie! -Amanda, Ugly Betty
Mercedes: Is that a men's sweater? Curt: Fashion has no gender.
When's the last time you went to a bar and a guy said 'Hey, check out the soul on that girl!'
I love a lot of things. Some I wish I didn't love , others I wish I could love even more.
The police are looking for someone described as funny, sexy and great in bed. Your ugly ass is safe, where should I hide?
Love - a form of amnesia where a girl forgets about the other 1.2Billion boys in the world.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Why be perfect when you can be imperfect? Why be sad when you can be happy? Why say you're ugly when you can say you're beautiful? Why be bacon when you can be a pringle? Why dream when you can make them come true?
I am suffering from post-watching my mum do Zumba illness. No straight man can do belly-dancing there is a whole point to the bending in that Belly Dancing routine it is meant for the bent, for the broken. I.e all straight men please refrai…
Ugly Betty is a mixture of Desperate Housewives (Renee) & New Girl (Schmidt) What more could a girl want? Ok, I guess we could have a little 90210 in there but I can work with this!
Zayn. Zayn. Zayn. Zayn. Zayn. Zayn. Zayn. Zayn. Come back to England, where your lovers remain. We miss you! That's it! Hell to Zayn!! You ditched us for the blond haired and blue-eyed Americans! Tell me, Zayn. Do you have the word 'bloody'…
Dance. Why the hell are singers so obsessed with it? I mean, singers implies you sing not dance. Olly Murs, no matter how much we lurve you nobody wants to 'dance with you tonight' and Beyoncé- you may be one of the world's most admirable m…
Welcome to the tortures of teenage life: walking upstairs at a house party to hide from the possibilities of socialising and telling your mother it is 'cooler' upstairs and then she goes "Are your age-mates up here?" Sees a random guy, and …
You know you've watched too much Waterloo Road when you start saying "innit" and "fam" with a totally serious facial expression...