Two More Years

Lying on my bed... Smokin some cigarette of out a window. Just to be sure my brother doesn't find out about it. Listening to kings of Leon. The weekends is empty, the house is only me and my 11 years apart old brother. Still deep down inside... Life is meaningless. Emptiness of my short 17 years of aliveness, just feel bad. Abhorring what I have now, wanting to have an actual spirit in life... Well sadness and loneliness just won't let me out of this.

Damn, why does a teenagers life have to be like this?!

Something just seems to be missing apart... Or is something falling apart deep inside me?

Questioning myself about life in general, founding the answer by dreaming about it... Then actually doing it, it's just impossible to happen......

Man... Something is missing?

Is it love?

Is it happiness?

Is it adventure?

Is it care?

I honestly have no idea.....

Funny, I am not poor, I had parents, I had friends... Sometime, it's just doesn't really fit into a place in my heart.

Or is it just me?

I am just a kid... God already start to mess around with my feelings and life.

Getting a girlfriend!?
I have no interest on the girls in my school... Sometime if I do, I feel a sudden low self esteem... Of my Acne and my personality. People usually say I am handsome and those bullshit... But I just don't buy it... Hahahahaha... Yea, it's tough. Girls usually look at me as a brother rather than their crush... Ohh well :)

Spending time with parents?
Parents... I don't go along with my mom, I go along with my dad, but he usually have stuff to do somewhere in another country... Brother? He is like my dad in the house, he is strict and just like my dad, doesn't hangout in the house. What do I got?? Lol I don't even know... But I cherish the time I spend with my family when they are together. ;)

How about friends????
Funny thing is... People in my school hangout in different divisions... The basketball dudes, the bitches, the geeks, the funny dudes, he quiet ones...... I just don't fit them.... I am just a dancer, I am just hard working, I am just a typical normal dude, that don't fit in specific groups.

Friends outside school!?
They are either far away in the urban, I live in the suburbs. So it's hard for me t find time to hangout with them. :(

Life... Empty...
Heck
Fuck this shit....
I laughing at myself how pathetic my life is....

Two more years until I graduate from high school..

By that time I would had two wings and fly far away from here...

Just two more years
And I will be happy, hopefully I will
:D
Thank you for reading!