25 July 2012
A deadly fire raged at Pembroke hmr high security prison for high security criminals and nutjobs
Criminals fled through a hole in a wall at the side of the prison, their feet crunching against the skulls of the tragically deceased prison guards strewn across the damp floor. The prisoners ran as fast as they could, but there was no need, every guard at the prison had perished at the hands of one man. One man who had the power to crush titans in his bicep. One man who would break jackie chans legs with a chopstick and a beermat. One man, known to local law enforcement as the moustached giant.
His name, cliffy....
A large shadowy figure emerged from the flames. He carried next to him a long lead, plugged into a grinder. He was back. And he had his trademark weapon back. He had his 5 inch grinder in his hands, scrawled over with the blood of his victims in a crude tally. As the world cowered upon seeing the news, one man stood tall..... (well apart from the weldasaurus, but by this point of the job he left for derby, so he doesn't count) and that man, was breeny!!
Breeny pushed the secret button on his laptop after seeing the shocking development on the news. His chair turned into a slide, and he slid down a tube, falling into his costume and landing in the breenmobile.
Breeny put on his live internet feed in the breenmobile, and found to his horror the reason why cliffy had escaped. He wanted to add breenys blood to the tally of victims on the grinder. All that bloodshed, all that loss of life, just to get at one geordie supervisor, it's proper crazy lieeeek!
Cliffy was stood on top of boiler 41 at Pembroke power station. News helicopters flew overhead, cliffy wildly swinging his grinder at them from one hand, colleen screaming and being held over the side with the other.
Cliffy was angry, and when cliffy gets angry everyone feels it!
The breenmobile screeched up outside the turnstile. Breeny jumped out, a wild look on his face as he saw the distant figure of cliffy up the top of the boiler. A small tap on his shoulder interrupted his thought process. Spinning round, breeny found himself face to face with a small security guard
'you can't park here mate, it's against site policy, you'll have to park at one of the designated parking facilities within either the dock or Pembroke itself son!'
Damn it thought breeny as he jumped back in the breenmobile, turning round to give the rampaging cliffy a filthy look, dropped the gearstick into first and sped away.
Pulling up at the quins car park, breeny jumped out, and immediately ran to the yellow site bus. Jumping on, he found a comfortable seat with decent legroom, put his hood up and had a little half hour kip while it drove back to site, those bastard speedbumps waking him up yet again as the bus pulled in. Jumping out of the bus at the gate and with a twinkle in his eye that breeny only got as he was about to go into a battle, reached for his sitepass. FUCK!!! thought breeny as he grasped at his neck but only got hold of thin air. Disheartened, breeny trotted over to the other turnstiles, where he asked Stevie nugent if he could sign the temporary site pass book. He assumed he said yes, though the horrifically scouse train wreck of an accent he replied in was so shocking that he could not be certain, but regardless the security guards handed him a temporary pass and he ran back to the other turnstiles. Rushing through them both, breeny could feel the battle ahead. He knew what awaited him. He knew the dangers of what could happen, to him and also to the rest of the site, south Wales, and even the world.
Another tap on his shoulder. FUCK!!!!! thought breeny again as he turned around to see the new health and safety bloke. An ex army, ex hse powerhouse of a health and safety man, out to make a name on the Pembroke power station. Running back to his locker, breeny pulled on his overalls, hi vis vest, safety boots and his lep, pulled his hard hat on and clicked his neck. He was ready. He ran out to boiler 41, colleens screams ringing out in the distance. He had to save her, the dozy cow messed up his travel money and he needed it sorting out.
Running up the boiler stairs 4 at a time, Billy reached the top in seconds. Dead silence hit his ears at the top. No cliffy No colleen. Silence. Then he heard it, the unique high pitched screech of a grinder. He jumped high into the air as the spinning disk sliced through the grating below him. Cliffy meant business this time.. His moustache was fucking hugeeeeee! Breeny did a frontflip and landed on the vessel at the top of the boiler. One wrong move and that was it, breeny purée for the lads at the bottom of 41. Breeny knew this, but he didn't care. He knew what had to be done. Bending down to pick up a pipe, breeny looked up to the sight of a grinder narrowly missing his forehead, and a disgruntled cliff roaring at the other end, about not being semiskilled but really being a pipefitter honest.... Breeny growled 'Fit this pipe motherfucker' In the style of bruce willis in the die hard trilogy, as he threw the pipe hard at cliffys face. Smacking him hard against the nose, cliffy roared like a feral beast, as breeny grabbed the grinder wire at the base of his feet, yanking it out of cliffys hand. A proud breeny had disarmed the madman, or so he thought, as cliffy threw colleen wildly at breenys face, missing again narrowly. Now cliffy was stuck. He had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and no weapon to fight back with. All he had was his moustache, but it seemed to be doing nothing as breenys flying kick connected against his chest knocking him from the top, to the concrete below.
Breeny helped colleen up from the floor, and they both stumbled down the stairs as a crowd gathered below. Breeny didn't know how to feel. He was happy, but yet had a strange sadness too as it slowly sunk in that his one major adversary was no more. The crowd draped a sheet over the motionless figure laying on the ground as the health and safety team were called.
Jerry pyke, leading the investigation found something chilling. Where once there lay cliff, now was just an empty space with just one strange item laying in the middle. A moustache lay on the floor. It sacrificed itself for the sake of cliffy, it knew it could grow back, with cliffy escaping as everyone rejoiced in happiness in the car park
So as you read this story, remember just one thing. Always be listening. Always be looking. Always be vigilant. Because somewhere out there, is an angry cliffy!!!
Cliffy 2 • Opuss № I