Clueless

The truth is I know deep inside of me I still have feelings for you. But I'm scared to admit it. And there's more feelings there than I think I do, all my close ones can tell. Even mum. Looking at our old pictures, I'm smiling at it yet I feel sad inside. We looked so happy. Oh wells, shall be seeing you tomorrow. Have so much revision to do, and have stopped myself from seeing so many other friends due to revision but why am I always prepared to give up my time for you and even make an effort in this friendship. Don't want to disappoint you in any way, even if it's going all the way there to do you a favour. You have no idea how hard it was for me to get over you. You think it's all easy don't you? Well it really wasn't. While u moved on to another straight away from me, there was me always crying, moving away to malaysia to be by myself...u said we couldn't be friends, deleted me off fb n stopped talking to me..I accepted it. Did what was easiest for you. Then ur over me, u said u want to be friends..without even considering how I feel, if I'm over you! But yet I accepted it. You have no idea at all. You said you love me a lot the most you have loved someone, I trusted your every word...now I question it. Was it the chase and determination of getting me and wanting a relationship that kept you going for me...or did you actually love me for me.