"STOP BOTHERING ME!"

I have never felt this before.
The feel of warmth under my eyes.
My tears drying up on my face because I am sick of wiping them away.
The feeling of those three words.
Slicing, my tender heart.
The words that are harsh and unthought, but true to him.
I wanted to cry myself to sleep.
I wanted all the emotion to burst at once so it would stop haunting my soul.
But when I try to make things okay.
When I just wanted to say goodnight, and let him know I love him.
Those words are there.
Thrown in my face like ice cold water.
And I hang up, I hang up out of rage and hate. Not only am I filled with sadness, in my sliced up heart, but now some how I have managed to cramp in hate and rage inside. It's amazing how I can feel so much, at the same time. But what I did realize, though, is that hidden among the sadness, the hate, and the rage coursing through my veins is the reason of these emotions. Its my love for him that is so strong that I don't care that he's making me sad or angry, I just care about him. So I call again to make it okay like it was before the river of dried tears. I wanted to say sorry for feeling sad and hateful, but all I can do, while he is saying sorry, is cry. Why?!?