Again

I can take friends.
I can deal with that after some time
But it will be done.
I can take the hellos
I can peddle small talk for a laugh
Or a smile
Or a compassionate shoulder
In which I once dreamed
And I could take a goodbye.
I could take, perhaps seeing you with another,
The Version 2.1 of me,
After time perhaps I could take that.

What I cannot take
Is I love you,
I want you back,
I need you,
I'm sorry,
I'm lost without you,
Please, come back.
Because as much as that is what I crave,
What I yearn for in starlit reverie,
I know that if I were to trust you again
And give you my patched up heart
And you were to drop it again,
The pain would be too much,
The crushing weight would be too much,
The crashing torrent as you smash my life-raft
Too much.

And I would slip
Into the abyss,
The broiling, baying seas,
Legs broken,
Unable to get back up,
To swim,
To breathe,
To fight,
To survive,
To resurface,
To heal,
To love.
Mangled, tattered and torn
A ragdoll,
A puppet,
Strings cut, just there.
A whisper,
A breeze
The hint of a soul over the hissing foam and brine
Lost to you and your chances,
Your fateful dances,
Your capricious ebb and flow.
So no, not again.