Mothers And Sweats

Mothers are a brilliant source of encouragement aren't they? Can you tell in this instance I'm being sarcastic? Yes, of course they are a magnificent fount of joy, wisdom, love etc but they also come out with the most absurd things.

For example, I have a beloved pair of sweats. They are there to comfort me on cold, wet and gloomy days and don't care if I look like a hobo. Sweats are honestly the most forgiving and comfortable piece of clothing around. However, the shop in which said sweats were purchased makes really small sizes and so I am a large (is that true or am I saying that to make myself feel better?)

Anyway, my beloved sister is a flipping stick insect. Yes, a size four stick insect. And she of course takes extra small sweats in this shop (Eugh we're sweat twins. Great. Like Little and Large) So, naturally she sees this point as one to use against me, in a teasing manner if you will.

'So...are you enjoying your LARGE sweatpants?'
'Plenty of room in your LARGE sweatpants?'
'Could you help me a moment? I need some assistance in folding these LARGE sweatpants of yours.'
Et cetera, et cetera and so forth.

She made, what was seemingly the mistake, of taunting me in front of my dearest mother. And while she was pouring these insults over my head I looked to my mother for guidance. Now, anyone would think that sister Chloe would get a clip over the ear and be told to shut up. However the line my mother next comes out with is either a very horrible insult or pure comedy gold....

'Oh, dear, you're not fat. You've just got abnormally long legs.'

WHAT?!

Thank you, Mummy, for doing wonders for my self esteem.