The Taming Of The Drew

That arose cos his butt was of gold.
Once he thought it not scary
But legendary
Cos Goldfinger got all the bad girls.
He'd just do a moon
And pretty soon
His lovelife's petals would unfurl.
But instead it brought shame
To the high school game;
They mocked him because of its shine,
The girls called him weird.
Now he lived in fear
Of bullying time after time.
Yet hark! Good news!
To all those in plain view
One day he was branded a hero
As a result
Of a prank-like insult
That saw him rise up from zero.
A young guy called Will
(Who girls fancy still)
Attempted to hoist up Drew's pants
To cause pain and shame
But he lost at that game
Exclaiming 'Egad! No I can't!'
Drew's crack of gold,
Now legendary I'm told,
Defended against treacherous wedgies
And earned him admirers
And countless aspirers
Among cool kids like Bill, Tom and Eddie.
Drew was no more
A dork who was poor
At sports and asking out the lasses;
He's epic and now
Immortalised. How?
In a statue of gold for the masses.