@NEmer

Promise me one thing: Don't take me home until I'm drunk-very drunk indeed. - Holly Golightly (Breakfast At Tiffany's 1961).

@Kathyc

I leave and she's 12, I come back after a week and she's 16. -Parental Guidance.

@brainfreezeno1

Simpson, Homer Simpson

Simpson, Homer Simpson. He's the greatest guy in history. From the, town of Springfield. He's about to hit a chestnut tree..

@brainfreezeno1

Dumbass

When your ex says, "You'll never find anyone like me." Reply with, "That's the point DUMBASS".

@brainfreezeno1

Dumbass

When your ex says, "You'll never find anyone like me." Reply with, "That's the point DUMBASS".

@Kathyc

They're smitten, While playing badminton, Where's my kitten. -Princess Diaries 2.

@kelseyb123

Graduation Speech: Twilight

When we were five our parents asked us what we wanted to some said astronaut, or in my case princess. When we were ten they asked again some said journalist or in my case a gold mentalist.

@MacDoom

"If you wake up one morning, and it's a particularly beautiful sunset, then you'll know we succeeded" -Capa, in Sunshine.