Who Am I? Part 8

I started pacing again. I had to take little steps though, since the extremities of the room were pretty small. I needed to know exactly what has been going off for all these years. I needed to know who I was. I was in deep thought when a chuckle brought me back to reality. I turned to the door of my room where I found Lewis to be stood leaning against the doorframe watching me, a bemused smirk on his face.
"So what are you pacing about this time?" he asked, I walked up to him and looked over his shoulder Eddie and Garry were nowhere close. So I grabbed Lewis' arm and pulled him into my room closing the door behind him.
"I want to know what the hell has been going on, Garry and Eddie know I'm sure" I answered him quietly "So I need to think of a way to get them to tell me" I added explaining properly why I was pacing.
"Ok then what have you got so far?" he asked his eyes shining with curiosity that I couldn't help but smile at.
"Not much, except for just asking them ... Which I know won't work" I sighed sitting heavily on the bed. Lewis sat next to me and shook his head lightly.
"You've been pacing for 20 minutes and you've come up with something you know won't work?" I nodded "Who do you think is most likely to tell you?" he asked making me stand and start pacing again. I'm sure he rolled his eyes.
"Garry." I concluded after a few steps, I have no chance of getting thing out of Eddie he knows how to keep secrets too well.
"Right Garry, why not try to get him on his own, where Eddie isn't there, and ask him? Worth a shot right?" he suggested with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Maybe I suppose it's better than asking them at the same time, Eddie frowns at Garry so he doesn't say anything..." I mused about to start pacing but Lewis grabbed my shoulders and stopped me.
"Whoa, don't over think things ok? Maybe stop for the rest of the day, it is, almost ten anyway" he had a point and I yawned in reply making him chuckle again.
"Shurrup" I scolded him through the yawn hitting his arm. His eyes widened in mock hurt a cheeky smile spread across his lips lighting up his whole face.
"Make me" he challenged his eyes sparkling and my breath stuck in my throat.
"You child" I pushed his shoulder and pulled my plait across my face to hide the blush which was creeping onto my cheeks. He must've noticed as his eyes scanned my face and smiled more to himself than anything else. I bit my lip and attempted to compose myself to get rid of the blush that was threatening to grow stronger.
"I know you are but what am I?" he asked laughing harder as I tried to hit him again but he kept moving just out of reach.
"You. Are. A child!" I laughed but as I reached out to hit him I stumbled and fell into his arms.
"And you don't have any balance" he joked helping me back onto my feet properly.
"That was your fault" I argued again succumbing the onslaught of the dreaded blush heating my cheeks to possibly hotter than the Earths core. I smiled and dropped my gaze to the floor, suddenly feeling rather sad. These moments never lasted long in my life, I missed having someone in the vague region of my age to talk to and just have a laugh with when with a family. I suppose it's one of the perks. Even worse though I think is that I could have an 'in-family joke' with one that the next won't get. But Lewis, only five years older seemed to have the same sense of humour as me when I wasn't on a bad day like today. He put two fingers beneath my chin, searing my skin and sending electric shocks through my spine, tilting my head up so I was looking up at him. His eyebrows were furrowed together and his eyes had lost part of their sparkle replaced with concern, looking deep within my own.
"Something wrong?" he asked gently not breaking eye contact.
"Thank you" I replied
"What for?"
"For being a child" I let out a little laugh and smiled at him.
"No problem" he whispered close to my ear, he patted my shoulder and as a single tear dripped from my eyelash he moved his hand to cup my face and wipe it away with the pad of his thumb. I couldn't deny it, I was definitely attracted to this guy. "That's better" he smiled and left the room, my skin still tingling with the sensation of his skin against mine.
I sighed and shrugged out of my coat laying it on the end of the bed. I changed into a pair of black and white stripy pajama shorts and a black tank top before walking into the living room where the TV was on and Garry and Eddie were chatting holding a pint of beer each. I stood in the entrance of the bedroom hallway just looking around the living room as I do most places we appear.
"You alright kid?" asked Eddie as he sat on the sofa next to Garry.
"Yeah fine" I smiled at him to prove I was ok, he nodded accepting my answer. Lewis brushed close to me as he walked passed me, into the room and I felt my heart skip a beat and my stomach back flip.
"Beer's in the fridge soldier" Garry nodded over to the kitchen then turned his attention back to the TV.
"Want a drink?" Lewis asked leaning out of the kitchen doorway his eyes firmly placed on me raking over my figure. I let my eyes wander over him, he was wearing a tight black shirt and black knee length shorts.
"Do we have cherry cola?" I asked Eddie, it was a random craving I had once and completely loved the stuff.
"Yeah in the fridge" he directed over his shoulder to Lewis. He nodded.
"Ok, coming up" he smiled and disappeared into the kitchen. I padded into the living room, stubbing my toe on the way then hopping my way to the unoccupied sofa.
"Yeah watch out for the floor" Garry chuckled, I just glared at him my middle toes throbbing painfully hardly seeing the funny side.
"So what's happening now?" I asked but no one answered, Lewis handed me my drink and shrugged as he sat on the other side of the sofa I was on - he didn't know. About ten minutes passed before Eddie glanced over and before he took a gulp from his pint he asked.
"Say something?" I looked to Lewis and shook my head he seemed amused by it.
"That's your problem" I said much louder this time gaining their attention. "You both LOOK at me but you don't SEE me! You HEAR me but you don't LISTEN to me! Ever! I may as well talk to myself all the good it bloody well does! Neither of you ever answer me, Eddie you just scowl and Garry you umm and err over everything!" I huffed folding my arms over my chest and slouching on the sofa.
"Don't slouch" Eddie sighed and I sat bolt upright.
"See this is what I mean! I said all that and all you can think to say is 'don't slouch'" I imitated him badly "You could have said, I don't know, Sorry? Or we'll try not to in the future!"
"Sorry-" Garry started
"No, too late now you're only saying that now since I told you" I curled up in a ball on the sofa "So as I asked before - What's happening now?"
"We're staying here for a bit" Garry answered
"So does that mean my father is coming?" I asked seeing what answer I would get this time. I was answered with silence. "So either you haven't heard me again, you know the answer and don't want to tell me or you don't know" I came up with three suggestions watching them carefully as they didn't tear their eyes from the TV.
"We don't know" Eddie answered
"Then why not just say that in the fucking first place without the silence?" I asked stretching out slightly until my foot hit Lewis' leg then I quickly pulled my legs away.
"Don't swear" Garry sighed
"I'll swear if I want to. If I had sworn earlier would you have listen to me more?" I asked testing
"... Does it matter? Whats done is done" sighed Garry. I brought my knees to my chest wrapping my arms around them, resting my chin on my knees. An uncomfortable silence smothered us and only the TV carried on regardless. The news was playing and I found myself dropping to sleep, all the close moments with Lewis were on repeat flashing against my eyelids.
The theme tune to Match of The Day brought me from my closed eye bliss and forced me to awaken a little bit more.
"Night, see you tomorrow" I mumbled standing and padding my way back to my room.
"Night" was the unanimous reply although I heard Lewis more so. I made it into my room and left the door open slightly.
"Soldier, I don't think I should have to tell you this, keep your distance. Remember your here to do a job, nothing more" Garry growled
"... Yes sir" Lewis answered I hoped to think somewhat reluctantly...