I don't judge you, despite the fact you drink too much to escape from problems and run away when life gets too serious. You are doing it now, drowning yourself in alcohol and going to do charity work in Nepal. You could have taken real jobs. I think if I'd stopped messing you around and made a move earlier then...well it's no good looking at it like that. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. But I understand, I do. I know why you run. I know your parents, their disastrous marriage and divorce, had made you doubt that marriage is worthwhile. It seems to bring more hurt than anything else. And your relationships in the past...you told me you've been dumped from every relationship you have ever had. And last time. You were in a three year relationship and you had finally decided to ask her to marry you. You had a ring and everything. Then she breaks up with you instead. I can't imagine how much that hurt you, but I saw the pain and tears. I was there. It was when we started to get close. We both had relationship issues and I guess we both needed a friend to lean on. Just somewhere along the way we went from friends to something more. Probably when we had sex. I mean, we had fooled around before but that was different. When we had sex I thought it would be...odd. Awkward. But it actually felt good. Right. Like we should have been doing it sooner. And last weekend we had a lot of sex. In a tent. We even got a cheer from nearby campers, much to my shame! It felt like...coming home. This time you held me and kissed me like I was more than a friend with benefits. We even cuddled after, something we had never done before, as you are a bit weird with physical contact. You do have your issues. When we had been drinking you said some wonderful things. Like you think I'm the most amazing person you have ever met. You near-as-dammit said you loved me. But then, in the sober light of day, you blame it on the booze and avoid the questions. Avoid saying what you really feel. And so you run. But I'll wait. You've said, when you come back we can go travelling together or get a flat somewhere. So there is something between us, I know it. I just wish you would embrace it because I'd go anywhere with you.
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We're all mad here... All work is mine unless otherwise stated. ~ Instagram: @irrational_kimmi ~ Kik: irrational_kimmi #projecthumanity
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