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@chickgamer

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😰 What happened or are you just thinking over stuff? Hugs 😘

@chickgamer we had an email conversation. Basically he doesn't want to move in together when the gets back and really, I'm ok with that part. We will have been apart 8 months, moving in straight away probably isn't sensible. So that I can deal with. And he doesn't know where he wants to live yet and ok, I can deal with that part too. But he was kind of mean (whether he meant to be or not is yet to be seen) about it and said I need to rely on myself more as he's not around for me to rely on. He was just a bit short with me, I dunno maybe he's having a bad day. He did say to call him in the week if I want so...I dunno. He's hard to deal with sometimes.

Aaww hun, hugs. Maybe he just didn't think of how he said it but he could mean it in a positive light, he's thinking off the negatives of what if it doesn't work out and you're left alone again? He just wants you to be able to look out for you, whether he's there or not. As for moving in together, that's a big step and he's not even sure where he'll be. Hugs. You know what our men are like, they mean one thing and say something totally different. 😢💜

@chickgamer I know. I just re-read the email and he wasn't mean really, just a bit blunt. But like you said, he's probably just trying to look after me. I do need to be more independent, but it's hard as I went from living at home to living with a bf for 7 years so I've not had to cope with being on my own. And I get that he wants to live alone too - he's never done it before. Ah I think I'm just feeling a bit pms-ish and grumpy so I took it all to mean 'he hates me' 😓 I'll probably get an email later telling me to calm down. In other news I just edited a research piece he wrote which is hopefully going to get published in a journal 😍 my boy is a smarty-pants.

Sometimes Hun we can interpret an email in the wrong way...as we don't hear how it is said, or the tone in which it's said...I'm sure he never meant to hurt you with his words...and as you say when we ladies are pre menstrual EVERYTHING is magnified..god I'll cry over a crumb on the floor...he has probably been doing some thinking and as his girlfriend wanted to share his thoughts...but it's hard to discuss such important things via email...thinking of you my sweet...here a big virtual huggie 💪💪💪💪💪🌹😘

@Irrational_Kimmi exactly. Tbh it makes sense that you're apart for a bit, he wants to in dependent and you've never had that chance. I did 3.5yrs with my ex and I'm just anxious to move out and be alone. Once he's back in the uk and hopefully in the same town, you can have sleepovers but still be independent 👍 and congrats to him on the research piece! He's doing you and me proud 😊👏

*be independent. I swear I haven't been drinking for such mistakes! Basically enjoy the courtship and dating aspect, you've got all the time to set up home and buy things from idea :) 😘

Aw poor you. I know this feeling. If they're really busy getting on with their job etc sometimes they forget what it's like at home. But as I've said before, being busy us the answer then you won't ponder too much. And... You'll have more to talk about if you know what I mean. Sorry if that came out all wrong. 💚

Awww I feel for you hun but like everyone else has said he probably didn't mean it and you know what guys are like they don't decorate their words as much as we do lol he's probably just spilling out his thoughts to you without thinking how they could be interpreted...big hug 😘💗

Hope you really are alright with it Kimmi. I could feel it coming after I read this piece. Just really hope you're all 👍👍👍❤

@misslittleDHP @chickgamer @eddie12309 @sjw @leelee101 thank you everyone, I think I just...overreacted a bit tbh. This long-distance thing is difficult sometimes and yeah, it's difficult to judge the tone etc that emails are written in. I'm going to call him in the week so that should make me feel better. I've been shopping (looking at Xmas decs) and I've got wine and cake for later so I'm feeling a bit better. I'm definitely in PMT mode though!

@chickgamer also, yay, sleepovers like the old days are something to look forward to. It's like we need to start again almost, taking it slow. We sort of avoided it all for months then the last six weeks before he went were crazy, so we totally need to do all the courtshippy stuff 😊

@Irrational_Kimmi it happens to the best of us. Being in a ldr just makes all the emotions harder to say and harder to interpret. Every emotional high has a distinct low tout. It sucks, being psmy probably doesn't help either. Hugs. Look forward to the phone call, sending his care package and the return of him. The lovely dates and just enjoying each other 💗💗

Ignore the tout. No idea what happened!

Men's brains are so one track. Maybe he's having a hard time imagining a live in relationship with getting on with his career. Sounds like maybe he's feeling responsible for your happiness? If so, that would be an important conversation to have. Emails are hard. Don't get too emotional till you can sit down with him. Four months now? 😘

@ckahn I think he's just having a hard time thinking of a live-in relationship after all the shitty relationships he's had before. He's not back till May 1st so 5 months and 19 days. 😢

@chickgamer I know you understand the highs and lows of LDR! I think I'm just too into planning for him, I think we just need to see how it goes when he gets back. I guess I'm just more...I dunno, ready for the seriousness! I forget I'm four years older than him too b

Ignore the letter b...no idea.

@Irrational_Kimmi see you're doing it too with the spelling! I totally understand the planning, I'm ready to plan holidays and weekends away, organise birthdays and who moves into whose flat...I forget he's never done that before. That he's profoundly scared of commitment and the disastrous consequences of love. I don't think it's a age thing, I just think both our guys have never been properly loved in a rship, Johnny wants the independence cos then he knows you're both safe & secure if it goes to shit. Not knowing you already have the colour scheme for the bathroom ready 😝😉

Cos you're in it for the long haul. It's that simple.

@chickgamer yeah I don't think Johnny's ever had a girlfriend who cared for him like I do. I think I cared for him more when we were just friends than he's ever been used to, even from his own family. I forget sometimes that he finds it hard to deal with. He's been in a lot of long-term relationships but they've always ended badly - he's always been dumped, he's never actually broken up with anyone. I guess after a while that would make you paranoid. I just think he never met anyone who actually gets him like I do. Blah I dunno. I love him. I guess I have to just 'be cool' and see how things pan out. I think this LDR stuff just makes me more clingy...

@Irrational_Kimmi yeah that's the unfortunate side effect. You're all clingy and needy, he's cool and calm. In his mind he's coming back, so why are you crying? I've had this conversation with Chris, but it's nice when he gets needy as well. Seriously Johnny and Chris sound like they would get along, they could compare and swap notes. I think when you're always the dumped one, you do stress about "what will she do to my heart?" And assume it will end in tears from the offset. Just keep loving him, that's all you can do until he finally lets go of the insecurities/hurt of the past. It will be okay, and this is me being positive 😝💗

@chickgamer I know, positive thinking. He's just so blasé sometimes it drives me to distraction. But then I remember that I live how chilled he is and that he never stresses about anything. Yeah I think he's a bit scared of proper relationships now. After his last gf I can't say I'm surprised. I'm gonna be cool about it when I phone him, not all needy-freaky because that makes him odd. 😁

Should be I love not live 😝

@Irrational_Kimmi great plan. The idea is to treat him like a wounded animal who might bite you at any time 😝 but seriously, it will work out. Maybe when he's back and it's all good, he'll be more expressive with his emotions.

@chickgamer haha love the comparison! It's just easier to say I'll be cool and calm than it is to actually be cool and calm...😓

@Irrational_Kimmi yeah, definitely easier said than done. Life wouldn't be worth it if it was easy I guess. But it would be less stressful!

@chickgamer @ckahn @sjw @eddie12309 @misslittleDHP I got two emails today, one saying he was sorry, he wasn't trying to upset me but just being honest and trying to look after me. The second saying that wherever he ends up living I can visit as much ad I want so...❤ I feel a bit better.

@Irrational_Kimmi I'm sooooooo pleased to hear that my sweet on this drab Monday morning 👏❤👏❤👏❤👏

@Irrational_Kimmi see we told you. He's doing the right in the typical man blunt way of doing things. But yah!!! Dates and sleepovers are coming your way ❤😍

@chickgamer hehe except his idea of a date is getting drunk and having a ahem sleepover, if you know what I mean? Though we have eaten out together a few times too and been to the cinema. It's a good thing that's the sort of 'date' I like 😜

@misslittleDHP it certainly cheered up my Monday 😊

@chickgamer gawd, I just looked at that comment and thought about all the stuff we've done together and...well he might not admit it but we've been in a semi-relationship for like a year now. I mean, we spent as much time as possible together, ate out, watched movies, did a lot of drinking, slept over, slept together, talked about everything...If that's not being in a relationship...well then I dunno. The only thing that was missing was the holding-hands smug coupleness. 😳

@Irrational_Kimmi I can't complain, me and Irish did the same thing but it gives you a chance to grow as a couple, outside the bed and the backseat and the tent! 😝

I want the handholding couple smugness....yeah it's pretty much a rship but younknownwhat men are like, deny it till the end, or he's just giving you time to gain some independence and him as well. I'm his unofficial girlfriend, he's just waiting for togetherness to confirm it I guess

@chickgamer I want the couple stuff too, but I'm thinking my wait for that is going to be considerably longer than May 1st! I remember him saying it took him over a year with his last gf to even admit they were going out, so I know how much of an emotional retard he is. I guess it will just make it better when we actually get there.

@Irrational_Kimmi emotional retard, wow that's love haha. You know what you have is special, he'll catch on eventually. Just enjoy being like a couple cos nothing will changes yeah regardless of the status you have. I say that but we both know how much it means to be a gf!

@chickgamer I know, right? The more insulting you can be to each other, the closer you know you are.

@Irrational_Kimmi real love right there!

Glad to hear you're feeling better!🌟👏👏👏🌟💐 stay wary of making too much of emails👍