I'm laying in my sofa watching TV. My ex is here hanging. That's nice. We both has the same problem. I don't have a lot of sober friends left, and the ones I do have I met sometimes. We go out party or go to dinners. But I pretend, I try to be the friend they just to know. The person I was before I begun with drugs. I ain't that person anymore. I am clean now but the shame is still very big inside me. Being an addict is fucking shamefully still. I know that in time it will go away more and more, but I'm not there yet. Nights alone is hard, when I'm alone with my thoughts. So I am very happy Markus is here. He understand how life is right now, he don't judge. He is at the same place. Wrote a lot now, but it's nice to just write down whatever is on my mind right now. Time to sleep. Good night world.
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