Love You So: PART SIX

I didn't go into school the next day. It was a month since my aunt died, so I just lay in my room all day. I didn't want to have to face the world when I felt so weak inside. I had to go in in the afternoon to sit an exam, so I did. As I came in late to the exam I caught Mollie's eye as I walked down the rows of seating, with my classmates sat in uniform rows of 26, all perfectly in line as if aligned with a ruler. Mollie gave me a sympathetic smile, that oozed warmth. I loved that girl, and all she ever was to me was supportive. Why was it that my head was telling me to smile back, and my heart was telling me that I should hate her for being with Nate? I smiled none the less, a weak smile, but she looked as if she understood. I sat at my desk, which was near the front in alphabetical order. I looked around me to see who I was sat near, and who no doubt would try to copy me. I glanced to my left, and saw Nate, sat the obligatory 1.6 metres away. He had his eyes focused on the front of the English Literature paper, allowing me to appreciate the definition on his face; his cheekbones, dappled with a light dusting of freckles, and his mouth, with lips slightly parted: a totally natural but extraordinary shade of pink that complimented his olive complexion. I exhaled a long breath, almost a sigh, but a vaguely positive sigh.
I knew I was going to ace this exam: English Literature was my strongest and favourite subject, and my favourite book was one of the texts. I knew an A* was easily on the cards, but with Nate now sat beside me, I didn't know how I would concentrate. I took one last look at him, my love, telling myself it would be my last in the next 2 hours 15 minutes. As I looked up, his gaze met mine. His deep brown eyes engulfed mine, and held me there. I tried not blinking, because I never wanted this moment to pass. His eyes were full of promise: promise of a future I wanted, promise of a journey that he would take me on and promise of his life, that could so easily become mine.
Just as my dreams seemed to be within my reach, and I was willing to promise my heart to him, the examiner started the exam, and with a quick smile, he tuned his head and started his exam.
I sat in silence for a minute, the hole in my heart opening up, and the arms that were outstretched, reaching for Nate fell by my sides; weak and limp again.