Well...This Is New - 42

That night, the night of the day dedicated to love, Paul and I had another conversation.
That night, our relationship hit a very large speed bump.
Or...so I thought then.
I finally confronted him. About everything he'd been doing. Our Sims marriage, him touching me, him always wanting to call me.
He had a defending statement to everything.
"Just because I don't wanna divorce in Sims doesn't mean I like you in real life," he said.
He had a point.
"When I touch you, I'm not flirting," he continued. "I'm just playing around. It's what guys do."
"We call a lot, but I also Facetime Sally and Heather," he went on. "We Facetime, like, once or twice a week. You're not that special."
I swallowed hard.
"But you said so yourself that you have much more fun with me than them," I pointed out.
"Yeah, because me and Sally and Heather talk about normal stuff like school, homework, and that kind of thing. But you and I talk about whatever we want. You're more fun to talk to I guess."
"Well if you spend so much time with Sally and Heather, then why do both of them agree that you prefer me and value me way more higher than them?" I asked.
"I don't PREFER you," he protested. "You're just different."
So that was the truth.
"I'm not ready for a relationship," he said. "I'm sixteen and I just wanna live high school with my friends and family and video games and fun. No drama. Whenever I touch you I'm not flirting and I really don't "prefer" you over our other friends. I wish our friends would get lives and stop thinking that I'm flirting with you because I'm not. I'm not into anyone right now, and I haven't been for a long time."
Tears rolled down my cheeks.
"It's just hard," I said. "When people see us together, they say 'Oh, you and your boyfriend are so cute'. And I have to tell them you're not my boyfriend. And then they ask 'Uh...what? Why not?' And I think to myself, 'I'm just as confused as you are.' And everyone's like why won't Paul take Em to prom? They'd be the perfect prom couple...everyone sees it. Everyone sees how good we'd be together. We have so much fun, we have such a connection--"
"Friends have fun together," he asserted. "And it's not like I don't want to feel the same way. It's just I'm not ready. It's not anything about you that's preventing me...it's just I mature really, really slowly...and my brain's just not ready for love yet."
I didn't say anything.
"I hate seeing you in so much pain," he said. "I hate that this is hurting you. I want to do something about it but I can't. I'm so sorry."
I closed my eyes, trying to calm my emotions. They were going crazy.
"Well...I can't pressure you to do anything," I said, vision blurred by tears. "It's just hard...because everyone sees it...and I do too...and I wish you could. But...I guess I'll have to deal with it."
There was silence. Then...
"Man, this sucks," he complained.
I asked him what sucked, but he never answered my question, and only said good night.
My hands trembled and I lay my head on my pillow, turning off my light.
"This heart's been broken for a year and it's not going to be fixed any time soon," I thought, closing my eyes, trying to let sleep come quickly.