This Is The Way The World Ends (Bill Part 1)

So if your reading this I from here on out I suggest that you are at least 17 years or older.
With that said we left off with me lacking a father figure.
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I went through most of my life not even realizing I needed a father or some one to replace him. Even now as an adult I don't think I ever needed one. Subconsciously I feel like if I had an example to follow I would have not screwed up my life so much. At least this is what the psychologist thinks. What I now know is that if it were not for these mistakes I would have never developed into the husband and father that I am today.
So my mom started dating Randy when I was around three or four. This would be a great logical choice for my new dad. The only problem was that he never really interacted with me. He had daughter and a son of his own and split time on the weekends with them. As the years passed our little Alexander bunch grew closer together as we all joined each other for these weekend outings. Even though we had all of these special get togethers thought the three years of dating and the eight years of being engaged, I always felt like the fifth wheel. So I sought the approval from another source.
When my mom and Randy would go out I would spend the night with my Grandparents. This is where I first started hanging out with my uncle Bill. As a young kid I latched on to him, because he was the closest person to my age in my family even though he was a good eighteen years older than me. He was the coolest guy I knew, and I wanted to be with him all the time. My mom also trusted him to take me to soccer and baseball practice. He would also take me to movies and various other places. I think at times my mom even paid him as I don't ever remember him ever having a job.
Bill was an interesting character. We knew that he had multiple sclerosis. I think the family was in denial about his drug and alcohol problem. Oh ya and he was also a paranoid schizophrenia which he took medicine to control the voices and hallucinations (when he took his medicine). Digging deep into my memories I remember being in bars while he met up with friends and then being driven home by him. I was only five and I didn't know anything was ever wrong. I also recall a times being in unusual houses or apartments that we're dimly lit and never were really clean. I never really thought about it until I was in similar house purchasing drugs and even living in houses later in my life that would resemble these same places. With a family in denial and Bill and I having fun I never thought this all normal.