Rubbish At Adultery

Must I give up another night
To hear you whinge & whine
About how terribly grim you feel
And what a dreadful swine
You are? You say you'll never leave
Your wife & children. Fine;

When have I ever asked you to?
I'd settle for a kiss.
Couldn't you, for an hour or so,
Just leave them out of this?
A rare ten minutes off from guilty
Diatribes-what bliss.

Yes, I'm aware you're sensitive:
A tortured, wounded soul.
I'm after passion, thrills & fun.
You say fun takes it toll,
So what are we doing here? I fear
We've lost our common goal.

You're rubbish at adultery.
I think you ought to quit.
Trouble is, at fidelity
You're also slightly shit.
Choose one & do it properly,
You stupid, stupid git.

Sophie Hannah