The Five Of Eros

there are five important [romantic] loves, I think everyone should experience... 1)first 2)unconditional 3)soul mate 4)life companion and 5) the one you give your all. unfortunately, it is a rarity that all 5 of these loves come packaged in one person. usually when that doesn't happen, there is a part of us that might look for it in everyone we begin to love; realizing it won't work because they just aren't that person. there is a point of realization for some people where they decide what's best for them.

my first love is dating one of my closest friends that I love dearly; no eros, all agape. I'm happy for both of them because they're both awesome people who deserve each other at their best. he and I wouldn't have worked because what he needs and deserves, I would never give him. it's not in me.

the unconditional love I received was such a powerful thing that it made me fully understand volatile relationships. we were something that could never truly be defined by words. it was a connection that can't be manufactured, no matter the level of genius. hindsight confirms that we didn't work because no matter how much love I had in my heart for him, it would never match the unconditional love he had for me.

soul mates are tricky because some people see it as one person. in my lifetime, I truly believe I've had 3 men as soul mates. there's no doubt in my mind that the first two weren't supposed to end up with me. timing had everything to do with it...and me not wanting to be consumed by one person. they're married to women who are nothing like me. I married someone who shares a few of their traits.

the lifetime companion is the most peculiar because, in my opinion, you don't even have to be married to this person and they can be the same gender as you. who I married is who I chose to be my lifetime companion. he wasn't my first love but I've experienced a lot of firsts with him. there was a time that we shared an unconditional love but things are different now. it's always been written in the stars for us to experience one another so he's definitely a soul mate. the one thing he'll get from me that I'll more than likely NEVER share with another human being is willingly remaining in his life no matter how severe the lows or nauseating, the highs.

he's become the most important [romantic] love of my life because I chose to give him something no other human being has or will possess...all of me.