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The Listeners-Prologue

The two teenagers were on a mission. They wanted to film something funny, and knew exactly what they had in mind. They hurried over to the abandoned house. They set up a tripod and the camera. Then, one rushed into the house.
"Let's get this in one take please John. This place is giving me the creeps!" said the first teen. Her long blonde hair whisked round the corner as she pulled her jacket off.
"Okay, I'm ready for you Christie in 3,2 ... Action!"

"Hello, and welcome to my house. Now once I win the lottery I will ... "
Suddenly the stairs croaked. John gave out a yelp as he reviewed what they had already shot. A shadow, on the stairs, behind Christie.
"What the hell.. ?!" John was shocked. When suddenly the stairs gave a massive groan. The whistling of the wind cracked and continued. The house sounded as though it was laughing, and out of the corner of his eye, John saw another shadow.

Then John noticed Christie, was white. She slowly walked upstairs, as though determined to see if anyone else was there. Suddenly she gave out a cry and fell backwards, as though pushed.
John picked her up and carried her outside. He decided to forget about the camera, and get Christie back to safety.
But if he'd only looked at the camera, he'd be astonished by what he saw. The tripod fell, the camera still recording as it became engulfed in the Dust of the house. Still recording. Still focusing on what was in front of it.

GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS, please. It's my first time in trying to write a thriller, and I want to know if it's okay :) please :) I'd really appreciate all feedback, thanks

ben_leggatt

@ben_leggatt

18years old, hope to have a career in the media industry at some point in the near future :) Oh and I'm welsh :) and every story I make I will hopefully manage to make into a film or TV Series at some point in the future. Director and co-founder of CleverBoxMedia.com ! Anybody who would be willing to help me make my stories into either a book, film or Tv series just let me know. INSTAGRAM-Ben_Leggatt Black belt and coach in karate for Seki Ryu Zan!!! Also, anyone who's just starting and needs advice and help, just let me know :) Oh and if you show me respect I will show respect back to you. Many Thanks,

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Comments & Feedback (23)

I love it! Great use of suspense. Interesting to see where it will go next. I love a flashback and have to stop myself from using them. Looking forward to more!

Sounds very intriguing, I love thrillers as well, I want to know what's in there now. Keep going with it. (-:

@KT77 @Stablish thanks :) it means a lot, this is my first time writing something like this and I hope you continue to like it :) thanks :)

It's great, keep it up!! :-)

@kirstydavison8 thanks :)

Really good cant wait to read more (:

@JessLouise thanks :)

@ben_leggatt ; oh my god! Goose bumps again! Is great - can't wait for the rest!

@PoppyA hehe, goose bumps are good right? :) thanks :D

@KT77 @Stablish @kirstydavison8 @JessLouise @PoppyA hope you all enjoy the rest of the series :) I'm really surprised by the positive reviews :) thanks everyone :D

You right a good story mate check mine out if you get a minute

Very good

@kikirocks thanks :)

@Stablish hey man, I was wondering, do u wanna join the Tafod Y Ddraig company? It's a company me and @morganhuw have set up and we're looking for talented writers to join the crew :) email morgan@tafodyddraig.com for more info and for him to make it official of u do wanna join :) if u have any questions feel free to message me ben@tafodyddraig.com if u want aswell :)

@ben_leggatt just add that its voluntary at the moment

@Stablish oh an its voluntary at the moment

Lol, let me have the night to think about itπŸ˜‰ you could email me the full details about it if you don't mind so I could get an idea what I'm sighing up for😊 @ben_leggatt @morganhuw stablish@hotmail.com

Ps. I have a pretty wide range if musical knowledge as well.😊

@Stablish ok . Either Ben or myself will email you either tonight or tomorrow :)

@Stablish Morgan has more info about the website an stuff so he'll email u :) if u need any other info I'll email it to u :)

@Stablish I will email u the info now*

@ben_leggatt nice one mate😊

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