It felt perfect, almost surreal. I forgot myself, I forgot them, I forgot the struggle and I forgot the pain.
On a day as beautiful as this, it was tainted. With reality. With tears. With hurt and anger.
So let the self destruction begin, the self hate. Let me analyse and critique. The only consolation is you're not here to witness it.
For a few hours, let me sink into that despair. Into the familiar comfort of darkness. In the end, that's a constant I can rely on.
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If I was an angel, my wings would be tipped with black...writer, lover, dreamer, thinker, complicated.
Sat staring into those eyes A haunting tale can be read The trials of her life take time As inside she feels dead She knows she feels love But doesn't know how to express it For she died long ago Her...
I’m apprehensive When it comes to Loving you Not spooked By possibilities of being hurt But discouraged by What I may possibly put you through.
The dreams I had were based on lies, All so I could sever my family ties. The fear of getting too close only for them to die, Is too much for my heart to accept and comply.
I am feeling down today. I have no idea why. I miss you so much. I feel lost in my mind. my head is spinning in circles. I just can't keep you out of my head. I feel trapped in your existance.
Dark surrounds my eyes,. And lines on my face deepen,. Just a side effect for the lies,. That I have been keeping,. The ache in my feet,. And the stiffness of my back,. Shows the many defeats,.
All I can do is cry. With nothing to console. Nothing else to say. Just letting tears fall. The memories are painful. And I wish to vanish them. But nothing happens. It's just me hoping.
I am happy, I am sad. I wonder how life started. I hear raindrops on the window. I see love all around me. I want world peace. I am happy, I am sad. I pretend I'm always happy.
There's only so far I'm willing to go. Only so much weight I'm willing to throw. So much space for me left to grow. So much time spent not high, but low. There's only so long I'm willing to wait.
@minxyMolly I'm okay, just family dragging me back to that level. 😓 so glad I was alone when it all crumbled. Thanks though xx
@sjw not yet! He's spent the day with his old boss and co-workers but taking him to see 8 out of 10 cats being filmed tonight 😊
@Irrational_Kimmi @minxyMolly it's been good 😍😍❤❤ had a couple of super great and just great days. So happy days, sucks that Sunday is nearly here!
@Irrational_Kimmi @chickgamer awwww shame, and glad it's good 😃😉😘 but on bright side you got Friday and Saturday before Sunday lol xx
@chickgamer @minxyMolly had any 'serious' conversations yet Lj? Glad you're having a good time together 😊😍
@minxyMolly @Irrational_Kimmi we had the very serious conversation on my birthday night. Yeah I cried, and we talked it all over. It would take too long to quote him but he would want to give us a real chance at being together, meeting the family and being with me. Distance is the issue, I think he's super wary of being apart and things going wrong. So I suggested quarterly visits (either that or we become friends and he leaves my life till I'm ready for that, which he didn't like) so I guess I affect him as much as he does me. We then got erm distracted...😍😘 He's feeling pukey atm or I would finalise that discussion. So when I know, you will!
@chickgamer I'm glad you had 'the talk' and it's good that he wants it as much as you do. I hope you work something out, I really do ❤💔
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