The quiet anger, the way the tension builds around you.
I keep quiet and hide, this isn't my fight to have.
But I watch as your anger simmers, and the way you evaluate.
Maybe you're rethinking your choices, wondering how you managed to fuck it up again.
It's not really your fault, but you let it happen today without saying no.
If he loved you, he'd listen and stop but nothing can be heard over the glass.
Instead you stand and shout, watching as he drunkenly pushes you away.
He doesn't care about you now or his job, the drink has possession of him.
You walk away and shut the door, he slumbers back to sleep.
Heavy with pain in your heart, you feel a sense of dΓ©jΓ vu again.
The only difference between then and now, is that you should have known better.
I keep quiet and hide, grim determination to never get stuck like you.
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If I was an angel, my wings would be tipped with black...writer, lover, dreamer, thinker, complicated.
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Comments & Feedback (49)
πWhat @eddie12309 said. I'm lucky never to have been in this kind of situation, but Johnny's dad is an alcoholic, I know what it does to people, families. πππ
@Irrational_Kimmi @minxyMolly my real dad killed himself with drink, my step dad eased off after a few bad sessions and hit rock bottom, but guess its back on. π°
@chickgamer @Irrational_Kimmi my mother was one and my dad a heavy drinker. I like a drink but I don't get trashed at home. I know only to well what it can do. π
@eddie12309 I can't imagine what it's like to have both parents messed up. I'm the same, I like a drink but it's never taken over my life like the way I've seen it happen
@chickgamer so sorry to hear that, it's a shitty thing to deal with. And there is nothing you can do to help them, unless they decide they want help. ππ
@Irrational_Kimmi it's fine, just been a while since its been an issue and my mum just didn't know what to do. He's a grown man, who knew his responsibilities. He just decided to piss it away, he's old enough to know better and be better
@eddie12309 @chickgamer I too like a drink and tend to get very wrecked, but I've always been careful about not letting it take over too, especially as I've been down recently. I know it's a bad part to go down. I worry about Johnny sometimes, he likes to drink a little too much. He's better when we are together, he saves it for the weekends. But out in Nepal...he's drinking a lot. He's already wrecked a valve in his stomach from drinking too much when he was younger. I worry about it a lot. π
@Irrational_Kimmi wow that's serious drinking when he was younger. It could be its a behaviour pattern he picked up from his dad, but at least he does tone it down when he's with. I used to worry I'd always need a drink to have fun
@chickgamer yeah he can't eat anything too spicy/acidic and has to have a constant supply of Rennies with him for the acid reflux. He spent his teenage years totally off his face, I'm surprised he's still alive tbh, some if the stories he's told me. He's toned it down a lot actually, but he still drinks to escape and that's the real worry. I just hope when I get him home it'll be ok π
@chickgamer sorry. Missed that comment about your dad. How awful. @Irrational_Kimmi it is a cycle and its up to the kids to break it.
@chickgamer wow as @Irrational_Kimmi a shitty thing to deal with especially if you were at a young age xx
@Irrational_Kimmi it should be, he's missing the hell out of you and I'm sure he plans to make it back alive and sober :) that's crap his diet is affected, but at least he's still okay and alive
@eddie12309 yeah, I just hope he sees what his dad has become and that stops him from doing it himself.
@eddie12309 @minxyMolly it's fine, I didn't really miss having a dad until I grew up. I just never want to end up with someone like that
@chickgamer yeah, I think he thought he was dying when it happened, he had to go to hospital in an ambulance - he basically eroded the valve on his stomach from drinking too much. I think it shocked him and he's been much better since. Yeah I think he's just a bit lonely out there, despite being surrounded by people all the time. πβ€
@Irrational_Kimmi he's away from home and without you, not surprised he's lonely. But he definitely had a life changing moment, he's not gonna be like his dad at all
@chickgamer yh I'm fine picking up on positive energy :D and watching Marley and me cuz it's such a cute dog lol x
@eddie12309 @minxyMolly @chickgamer I haven't seen that, should I watch it? I'm thinking I'll watch some chick-flicks tomorrow - I've not seen PS I Love You so I'm gonna start with that. Any suggestions? π
@Irrational_Kimmi you will bawl at PS I love you. I was thinking about it the other day and I was emotional. @minxyMolly @eddie12309 I haven't seen marley and me but I'm guessing I'll cry for the whole film
@Irrational_Kimmi I'd suggest like crazy for depression, Up for cuteness, going the distance for minor depression but love
@chickgamer @Irrational_Kimmi Marley and me very warm, sad sweet film! I would also watch my sisters keeper. I'm going through a guy films period lesbian vampire killers tomorrow β€π
@eddie12309 I know it's Gavin and smithy from Gavin and Stacey so :D am really looking forward to it xx
@chickgamer I actually started to tear up at beginning through her mom in my view being an utter (polite language use) meanie xx
@minxyMolly @chickgamer @eddie12309 ooh I've heard My Sister's Keeper is an emotional one! I'd go for any rom-cons too...I'm running out of film ideas.
@chickgamer haha yep and really upset me how the young sister felt like she was only there for her sister and pissed me off how the mom seemed to reinstall that with every action, deed and word.x
@minxyMolly it's super sad, I actually hated that. It's sad but true, most parents have another child to save the first one. Where's the fairness in that? Specially when it's done like that film/book
@chickgamer I think your right, and I don't think they should do that not only does it show favouritism but it seems as if the child is only an object to the parents not an actual human being
@minxyMolly exactly! She's still your child and she has a right to living a decent life, not a harvest farm for another kid
@chickgamer I know! And it gives a feeling that humans are playing master to slaves and this is in the family home π x
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