Grief

I feel like a shadow
As though I am not really here
Such apprehension has gripped my heart
Of what do I fear?
The world is somehow foreign now.
I want to run and hide
The knowledge is seeping in
You will never again be by my side.
My Mother had a dream of you
Through a haze you appeared
With the face of a child you stood at a distance
Your expression not clear
Then she heard your Mothers voice, floating through the mist
"Beatrice, Ven aqui!"
the voice commanded
As she stood transfixed.
You turned to leave, yet hesitated, not ready to go.
"it's O.k." She said. "I'll be o.k. I know you must go"
You turned to leave, spirit floating away,
and I am left here,
trying to keep these feelings at bay.
the world seems somehow different now, I feel so strange.
Numb, no capacity to think clearly
My concept of reality I must rearrange.
I asked my husband
"why do I feel so apprehensive? I want some relief"
He wiped my tears away tenderly and said, "honey, that's just part of grief".

Goodby Grandmother