So................

Its been a while since I wrote my thoughts
Mainly because I am reconfiguring myself
After our last meeting.
Topsy turvy
Back to front
Close to bitter and twisted
Is what I feel.
My admiration translated into words of love
Took me on a bizarre ride to the far side of its hills and mountains
Each step manifested as a thought
Brought me closer
Towards you and
Further away from my past
What looked like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow was
A desert mirage
Shocking but not surprising
My old mental self returns
Reminding me " I told you so!"
Such an emotional high
Is followed by a deep low
The swing of the pendulum...
What have I learned?
That it is possible to love again....
That I can love again
But just not you....
Right now...