I met a girl in a pub last night and we ended up going back to her house.
After a few more drinks, we started kissing and having a bit of foreplay on the sofa.
She looked at me and said, "Let's take this upstairs."
...
I said, "Okay, you grab one end and I'll grab the other."
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Simole guy living his life...
The other day I was helping my Uncle Jack, off a horse. It was the day I realised the importance of grammar..
My girlfriend left me because I've put weight on. She even said that my thumbs were too fat. Botch..
My next door neighbour just confronted me about items missing from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants..
R.I.P. Sir Patrick Moore. No more Mr. Night Sky..
Technically, aren't we all full of ourselves?.
I recently got banned from Christian mingle.com. How was I supposed to know it's not an appropriate place to make a catholic school girl fantasy a reality?.
Stuff to call someone bald Baldamort (Voldemort) Baldilocks (goldilocks).
How did the Dairy Queen get pregnant. Burger King forgot to wrap his whooper!.
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