@Bwanadik

My next door neighbour just confronted me about items missing from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants..

@Bwanadik

R.I.P. Sir Patrick Moore. No more Mr. Night Sky..

@Bwanadik

Technically, aren't we all full of ourselves?.

@TimBarnum621

Banned

I recently got banned from Christian mingle.com. How was I supposed to know it's not an appropriate place to make a catholic school girl fantasy a reality?.

@peace123

Baldy

Stuff to call someone bald Baldamort (Voldemort) Baldilocks (goldilocks).

@Bwanadik

"What are you watching?" "Loose Women." "Who's on this week?" "They haven't stopped moaning, so I'm guessing all four of them.".

@NEKOANGEL3120

Girl comes in Boy blushes and grins Girl grins and blows a kiss Both kiss passionately and sexually Girl turns out to be a boy Boy turns out to be a girl Both: SHIT 0_0"!.

@Bwanadik

My girlfriend left me because I've put weight on. She even said that my thumbs were too fat. Botch..