@peace123

Baldy

Stuff to call someone bald Baldamort (Voldemort) Baldilocks (goldilocks).

@Bwanadik

"What are you watching?" "Loose Women." "Who's on this week?" "They haven't stopped moaning, so I'm guessing all four of them.".

@NEKOANGEL3120

Girl comes in Boy blushes and grins Girl grins and blows a kiss Both kiss passionately and sexually Girl turns out to be a boy Boy turns out to be a girl Both: SHIT 0_0"!.

@Bwanadik

I stopped wearing a nappy at four. Unfortunately I shit my pants at quarter past..

@Bwanadik

I got a signet ring stuck on my finger today. Last time I do that to a baby swan..

@albisher

A Sexy Police Woman with Notepad in Hand Says to Drunk Man. 'Anything You Say Will be Taken Down'. Man Replies: Your Panties..

@Bwanadik

My kids keep on taking the piss out my Alzheimer's. Wait till the cheeky little buggers wake up on Christmas morning and find no eggs under the bonfire..

@TimBarnum621

Banned

I recently got banned from Christian mingle.com. How was I supposed to know it's not an appropriate place to make a catholic school girl fantasy a reality?.