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Melrose and rodeo Drive

Melrose and Rodeo drive. That was her corner; veronica was number one around here. Ever since Veronica was fourteen she has been on her own. Doing whatever she had to do to get what she needed. It didn’t help that she was hopped on meth most of the time getting used while she abused. It was like every other night in the city, all the girls waiting for a fix. Veronica was making her rounds, she found this nice suburban house husband that needed to take off some steam. Veronica got in the car, and the rest was history.
​His name was Brian; he lived in east LA in a condo overlooking the city. Brian worked for a large law firm; he had two kids Eddy and Paige…..and then there was his wife Madeline. It was like any other day. Brian was sick of the same old thing every day; he would finish work then drive home to his wife who never gave him any attention. He was fed up and just wanted someone to love him; Brian stormed out of the house and got in the car. He drove down to that corner of Melrose, not really looking for anything. That all changed when he saw Veronica. Wearing nothing but a tight shirt that she pulled down to make into a dress, a ripped pair of fish net, and those electrifying red heels she never left her house without.
Veronica pushes her chest and behind, up and out as she makes her way towards Brian’s car, he rolls down the window as she places one foot in front of the other and bends over resting her hand on the car door. Without saying anything she jumps in the car and Brian drives off to a nice secluded parking lot behind the local Wal-Mart. Veronica straddles Brian not giving him any time to react, they start to kiss passionately as if they were old lovers that haven’t seen each other in years. Brian stops. Veronica pulls away, and gets back in her seat. They talk, nothing more and nothing less; they talk for hours and hours about anything and everything. They’ve fallen in love. Brian then hatches a plan, him and Veronica are about to do what he’s been waiting years for. They are going to kill Madeline….
Brian; driving faster than he’s ever driven before starts to panic…but then he glances at veronica over in the passenger seat as she’s coming down from her latest high. He whispers I love you as he starts to go for his knife. They both agree it would be best for veronica to stay in the car. Brian parks at the end of the driveway so that way no one will hear him. He wedges his key into the door and turns it slightly; the knife in his other hand gripped for dear life. He steps into the foyer. The house is quiet, the kids are asleep, and the only thing you can hear is a faint buzzing noise from the downstairs room. Brian is now walking up the stairs, not thinking about anyone or anything other than that woman in the car. Veronica is his now and he’s not going to take any chances of Madeline ruining it. He goes into the bedroom, where he finds her asleep. He comes up behind her and places the sharp metal against the top right of her jugular; and without any hesitation slices it open and makes a run for it. As the blood drains out of her body, out of Madeline; the mother of his children, his wife of 7 years, the only person he could ever see himself with…he stops and goes back.
​All these thoughts, is it too soon? Is it too soon to fall in love with woman you’ve just met? Is it too soon to kill the woman that used to mean the world to you? At this point Brian doesn’t care. Veronica is still waiting in the car, and they are going to run off together. The damage has already been done; at least he still has Eddy and Paige, right? His kids are still here and no one can take that from him. Wrong. …Why? He’s about to find out.
He’s standing in the doorway, the smell of death starts to linger around him…but wait, and he hears a voice from behind him. “Brian? Is that you?”…he freezes. He can’t believe this, he slowly turns around to find Madeline in the doorway tired and confused. Brian runs to the bedside to see what has happened. He pulls the blood stained covers back to find a lifeless body lying there. Brian freezes and falls to his knees. He looks to find his six year old daughter Paige…deceased.

fadingfatality

@fadingfatality

18.Writing for the sake of writing.

26
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Comments & Feedback (9)

Your writing is dark and deep but fantastic. The twist at the end is very fitting.

I like the darkness in your stories, but this time I have to say I didn't relate or get to associate or know any of the characters, th fact that the guy falls in love an wants to kill his wife so quickly doesn't give me the reader a good enough reason for what happened, if I knew more about Brian or why he wanted to kill his wife, just doesn't seem like its a good enough reason, I think it needs more history on brain and his relationship with his wife and either more or less on Veronica, still a great piece I love the twist and obviously I'm a big fan of your style.

@blindmuggy yea I know:/ this was for class and I didn't have time to fix it

I love your endings, this one was soooooo good.

Holy I did sooo not see that coming

Is it the same girl for her name was Peyton?

@natashadanais no different stories

I love the twists at the end

Brilliant, love the twist. The fast almost frantic pace of the writing fits perfectly with the story and the impulsive killer mentality. :)

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