Beautiful, Yet Tragic

@spikekutter

@insomnium may i ask you why i inspired this poem?

@spikekutter while we was talking back there about the tragic of life and world,.. I said we live in beautiful yet tragic world.. And that's how I came up with it.. If it wasn't for u, for us communicating- none of this would come up

@insomnium oh thanx (: i tend to think about these things a lot..

@spikekutter me too, I'm always over thinking things

@insomnium i was having some issues with my break up a couple of days ago but im a little over it now so im trying to think of more poems about how i feel.. any ideas?

@spikekutter some tips, don't think, just feel. It will flows like a river- if you have hard time to come up with a word that describes it, use thearus with a simple word but similar meaning

@insomnium haha, since were talking about my break up and you were talking about flowing down a river it made me think of a papa roach music video.. so depressing.. i mean i haven't really felt anything because im finally taking anxiety pills so its kind of on haitus but i have made a new one its short but it has a good meaning..

@spikekutter awesome, I hope you will keep on letting it flow, it will come back to u.. Haha papa roach, gosh I remember him

@insomnium hhmm.. how do you remember papa roach? and i mean im taking pills now for my emotions so its harder for me now by how i feel..

@insomnium thanx for making a poem with some inspiration from me though thats really cool

@spikekutter I used to watch him on MTV, and anytime... I do understand abt pills, I used to take Prozac, lithium, deptoka, and tranzone

Oh and paxil too @spikekutter

@insomnium yeah, i miss scarred.. it was an awesome show i still complain about it, but it was probably a mutual thing for him because hes inspiring me now because were both going through the same shit.. i mean im taking anxiety pills i just got them because i get these attacks where all the sudden it hits me, my mind splits in half, i get shaky, i feel like im drowning and i all around dont feel okay.. so my anxiety medicine is kind of messing up my emotions..

@spikekutter ah yeah I have had that before, I didn't like how it made me numb so I got off it, and stayed off, but I do get attack once a while, I just learned how to manage it

@insomnium mine is so severe i really wished it sometimes make me faint

@spikekutter ouch I know the feeling, last time I had it so bad was last year

@insomnium yeah, if your medication makes you sick i would recommend natural medicine im taking lithium and glycene and it works perfect for me i would say go to a naturalpath and talk to them about anxiety and its also over the counter at places like super supplements or online so i would also recommend just getting it over the counter too because its natural so it doesnt have any side effects except less anxiety or no anxiety attacks at all..

I don't believe in meds, I'm all natural herbalist. I have have lithium and it making me gain so much weight... I have been mislabeled as bi polar which I never was and never will be. I also was misdiagnosed with borderline personality when I'm only asperger autistic. Lithium kills liver as well. I been off all of those meds for at least 10 years now- and my mind has never been more clearer than now since

@spikekutter

@insomnium hhmm thats weird im really skinny and i have issues gaining and mainting weight.. i honestly think that its actually better to have weight issues because can you imagine feeling like your always on a diet when your really not and you always lose weight and have trouble gaining it? thats what im always going through.. people always come up to me and flirt with me and say that im really attractive and all that but i really dont care about how i look i just care about how i feel.. you may think that it would be nice to be skinny and attractive all the time but its really not i mean sometimes if i lose so much weight i feel like puking so i have to go out and buy something to eat which is hard because i dont like eating gluten, gmo, msg shit.. im one of those skinny emo goth kids with anxiety, schizophrenia, that sometimes lose control and go crazy.. the only side effect that im getting from the anxiety pills are i think my inside personality is coming out which is kind of a scary thing because my personality is an angry, dark and a funny place.. so i have been laughing at everything insanely, talking a lot, getting pissing and breaking stuff, being tired its like im an alcoholic

@insomnium that was really long and had a lot of typos i hope you understood it..

@spikekutter I fully understand, I been there. You would be surprised that I used to be overweight gal. I wasn't skinny and as people like to call me 'beautiful' I was really over weight, geeky ugly gal, but as soon as I shed all this, and my appearance changed, I changed too. I became more darker, truly insane. I'm tired of them all fakers. Trying to be my friends just cause I'm on my way to top, I felt like smashing their face in... So I picture it in my head, quietly- then all of sudden, I'm fine again xD

@insomnium haha well i meant i feel insane which i kind of am im spazzy when im not on my anxiety pills..

@spikekutter I do understand, I switch into spazzing manic mode when I have that attack, could barely breathes and was shaking so hard.. But good thing it only lasted 15-30mins whew

why does it cut off your breathing thats like the most intense thing about it..

@spikekutter yep, the most intense feeling I ever had, felt like someone actually choking the life out of me, my lungs collapsed for temporary. I never was so scared in my entire life, I though I was gunna die

@insomnium dude, i had severe mono and i did almost die.. i made a new poem you welcome to read it and give me feedback (:

@spikekutter sure I will :)

@insomnium so what did you think? (: