Time:
When we are on our 'Death Bed' some if us will truly wish we had more of.
I am in a very odd situation, where I can sometimes spend a large part of my day 'waiting' alone, in a state of flux, (and nerves) that I have never been able to express, or so far, use in a productive manner, as anything I do could do, could be construed as 'not doing the right thing'
And often, the sheer feeling of being alone is palatable.
I can sometimes go a week without any real contact at all with anyone other than people passing by in the street, gym, or in the shops.
Where the idea falls flat, is that by the time my mind has reached that stage where I desperately need to communicate, I don't feel I can, as I sometimes haven't spoken properly for a few days!
I feel so self conscious that I am not talking, I am sure people can see I have not talked!!
(and when I do, it seems trivial).
Where this is a concern, if this is what is ahead for my old-age, I'm Screwed. Best bring on Chemical Cosh of the decrepit.
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