When I Died

I began to cry Saturday evening.
I cried until midnight.
I wrote several letters but
they never spelled out right.

I made myself a vow
for my next early light
To this myself I would allow
to no longer need to fight.

No one would care,
all would have a breath of fresh air
I would not regret
and no one would mind, I bet.

I fell asleep all in all and
all at once
My thoughts, a last
moment of silence
One final tear to fall
and my depart to where I belong after all.

Everyone left for work,
no thoughts of worry
All arrived with a life of "perk"
But in the end might feel
sorry
At what they will know-
and what was unexpected
Something that couldn't
have been detected
They'll suspect themselves
to be at fault
Yet they had nothing to do
with my shame, my eyes filled of salt.
~
I died Sunday morning.
I died because everyone
does.
I may have been sad,
my soul may have been
anguished,
My heart completely
malnourished.
But... In death and death
alone
I lived more than I ever
did in a single breath
And no one could have
known.
This was my own idea of
something fresh
Because I lived a lie, that
is sometimes why I would cry.

But with myself I am
done,
And you should be too.
Your life has just begun,
as for me, I feel completely new.

So this is goodbye. And
good luck.
You were the only one who
ever gave a real fuck.