Regretful?

I don't even know what to do....did I make the right choice? I knew you were leaving. Forever, even. But all I did was watch you from afar as I held back the tears in my eyes.
I'm kicking myself, I should have said something. Anything. What would it have hurt? You were leaving anyway. Am I that afraid of rejection that I'm missing opportunities that will potentially change my life? Nobody has ever gotten anywhere playing it safe.
Smoking a cigarette, without a care in the world, you were on your way to the rest of your life. I can't help but to wonder if I could have been a part of that...

I mean, sure. It wouldn't have been the most traditional relationship. It would have caused a stir....but I really looked forward to seeing your smile everyday. I looked forward to making small talk just to pass the time as we procrastinated doing what really had to get done.

Anyway. You're gone now....and I'm afraid to just press that one button that could potentially bring you back into the rest of my life...but maybe by some off chance of fate we'll run into each other again. You know. If within fate, it was meant to be.

I'm not sure why after months I still think about you. But maybe one day I'll decide to go after you. Hopefully that one day isn't too late.