Life

12 years ago everything was simple. Everything was easy. No tears, no pain. No worries about what people will think, no worries about what people will see. If I cried, I cried about loosing my favourite pink hair grips or tearing my favourite teddy. No one cared if you looked weird, if you wore clothes or shoes others wouldn't dare wear. No one cared if you acted like a freak, dancing and skipping around to your favourite theme tune or song. No one looked twice, to them I was just an innocent 6 year old in my own little world.

Today everything matters. No colourful clothes, no going out with no makeup, no wearing those cheap velcro trainers with your dresses. If i was to attempt this people would giggle and glare and be on about what I looked like for the next 5 years. If I dared to sing at the top of my voice in a room, or dare to be different i would be branded a weirdo, a geek, an idiot that no one will want to speak to.

This has happened to me. I have experienced first hand what its like to try an rebel against the majority. I simply wore purple skinny jeans, and I was branded a weirdo and a CLOWN. They even gave me my own theme tune. Ever since I have lost complete confidence in every thing I do in life. In result of this I'm left with only 1 person I can talk to who is not related to me. My boyfriend. This relationship is too slowly fading as I never feel confident with him. He doesn't help when he is unwilling to listen. There's times you need just those few minutes to talk seriously. This however never happens. Therefore I'm relying on my close relationship with my mum and eldest cousin. Their the only ones I can trust not to judge me.

The age of 18 is a horrible age. So many expectations. If you don't spend hours in bars or clubs getting absolutely hammered, so much that you can't remember who you are, your weird your not a typical 18 year old.

Some just can't understand those who want to be different. Those who want to be the minority. The minority that want to stand out. Those that don't want to follow the crowd, those that dare to be unique.

I want to become my self again. To forget the past but it's too hard to do it. Professionals try to help but it doesn't. I've lost it all thanks to wanting to be different.

The expectations of certain ages need to be changed. People need to allow people to be different and to not judge them straight away. They need to get to no that person inside. No their human and just like them. Just because they look different or act different it doesn't mean they should be labeled by those who follow everyone else, just because they think it's cool.

The moral of the story I believe is that be different, be who you want to be. Never let those out there who judge put you down. Don't let them take away your confidence, your personality, your life! Don't ever let them do what they have done to me.

No matter who you are. No matter were your from. No matter what colour your skin. No matter what nationality. No matter what style.

You are beautiful. You are different. You are unique. YOU ARE YOU! NEVER LET THEM TAKE THAT AWAY!

Xx