I would like to read to you what The Jesus said about homosexuality. I'd like to but he never said anything about it. Evidently Jesus was so filled with rage that he was speechless. I am confident he condemned it all the time in private, when he was hanging out with those other 12 dudes at their elaborate dinner parties, where they all sat on the same side of the table, just living the bachelor life together, drinking wine and working on their washboard abs.
—Stephen Colbert
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