Carson

It's embarrassing that I still think of you. I'm sure you like that. You love attention and you love mine. I know you've completely forgot about me. I want to completely forget about you. I just don't think i can. I gave you my all and you gladly took it. No one really knows what happened, they only believe the lies you told. They never believe me. My love for you is different now. I don't want to still love you, but I do. I love a person as twisted as you. I hope you feel bad every once in a while. Maybe think of me and smile. I hope you imagine us cuddling in bed as you whispered I love you and kissed my neck. I wonder if you think of it as a mistake. I wonder if you think of it as some endless game where the goal is to take from me to gain. I think I'm getting more over you. The annoying thing is that "we're cool". You want to be friends, but I just can't. Every time i see you i want to hold your hands and wrap you around me and feel your soft skin. I'm with someone else and you still peek in. You'd love for me to tell you this, take pride in being my only wish. I don't want you to know i still feel. Because telling you would make it too real. Ever since you I've felt numb and everyone around me seems so dumb. Then I met my new you, she's twice as nice. I really want her be alright with me still loving you. Still loving you and crying, hoping that maybe you'd be sad if I was dying. I'm over you as much as I think I'll ever be able to be. A part of me just wants to see, will there ever be more of you and me?