spider

I'm awake and sleepy. I'm depressed and lonely. I want someone to like me. I want someone to realize how amazing I am. I want all these things that I'll never get. I keep thinking about him with her. I'm mrs. bright side I suppose. I see them in his living room. messing around. going way farther than I went with him. him running his fingers over her wrist like I did to him and showed him. him getting her wet by sucking on her bottom lip like I did to him. them cuddling and him talking and looking at her how he did to me. but with more chemistry. more of an emotion than he ever will have felt for me. I can't stop thinking about this. I shouldn't think about this. It isn't fair. why must I punish myself so much. why