nick_the_dirt
And the award for hangover of the year goes to.... Nick Brown "Thank you so much everyone its such an... Such an honour to... Blurghhhh" / Throws up into the tuba in orchestra pit.
Dear Jim'll fix it During the 90’s I wrote to you to fix it for me to spend a night with a hooker, which you arranged with great vigour. The night was a great success, as you know very well having insisted you stand in the corner and watc…
The old ones are always the best. Chuckles Wayne Rooney to himself as he goes to pick up another hooker.
Sid squirrel was too excited to sleep, the package that he had ordered of the web was due to arrive this very morning. He lay in his little bed, within the tree upon the hill of Hampstead Heath, breath bated. "Bing Bong!!" went the door bel…
Looking deeply into the black abyss that was the night from the train, Nick pondered to himself an important question "Should Nick stop referring to himself in the third person?"
Hands up who likes Katie Price. Let's see... just one hand, get your hand down Katie your not allowed to vote!
People of this great nation and Swansea, I am writing to you all today with great news. Throughout these current times of economic instability, disappointing brainless blockbusters and global conflict, we the people have cried out for som…
Where does everyone stand on the homeless? I tend to go for the chest...
Hi. I said What's up? She said My penis... I said Nurse!!! She said That was the last time I was allowed in the old folks home.
Real life has its physical boundaries, head one direction and you will eventually end up where you started, the mind has no such boundaries. When you dream, your imagination takes you to realms of infinite possibility, where the norm is un…
Tim sits motionless in his seat looking mournfully at the plate of food before him. For the 40 years they had been married Sarah had always served a poached egg with toast for breakfast... Today he was served cornflakes. "what's this?" he …
On the bus, without a fuss. For once on time, to quick to whine. The seats all smell and it's hot as hell. Plus it makes me feel sick and the chavs get on my wick. But despite all this, the woe is forgotten, until an old man parps, my eyes …