Study Is....
......the art of texting, eating & watching TV while a textbook sits nearby .
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nicwatt
Always have the courage to be who you want to be. If others don't like it then that's their problem...Just don't let them make it yours...
69
Stories
96
Followers
Stories by @nicwatt (69)
Uncool Is When.......
That awkward run/walk you do when a car lets you cross the road .
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Cooking
I miss my wife's cooking.........every chance I get .
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Life
If you're living your life without a "F" you're living a LI(-)E.
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Spiritual
There is no chemical solution to a spiritual problem.....
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The
The only thing worse than being blind is having sight and no vision!.
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Spell Checker :-)
Eye Halve a Spelling Chequer Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
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European English Lol
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.
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This Is A Cool Anagram
"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." -- Neil A. Armstrong becomes: A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon. On to Mars!.
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Shakespeare Anagram!!
To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
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Amazing Anagrams
Dormitory == Dirty Room Desperation == A Rope Ends It The Morse Code == Here Come Dots Slot Machines == Cash Lost in 'em Animosity == Is No Amity Snooze Alarms == Alas.
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Expand Your Mind
A closed mind is a good thing to lose!.
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Old Ones Are The Best!
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:. MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy.
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Old Ones Are The Best!
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:. MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy.
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Timbuktu
A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment.
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Alcohol
As no great story started with someone eating a salad!.
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Right Back At Ya ;)
Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard.
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I'll Do The Dishes!
A girl invites her boyfriend home for dinner and tells him they'll go for a long ride after that. Boy is eager and gets his motorbike checked at the garage.
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Sleep Overs!
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
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Bed
I've never been to bed with an ugly woman but by god I've woken up with a few :-).
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Praise Or Constructive Criticism?
The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. Norman Peale.
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Infrequently :)
An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.
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Love
Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest..
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Positivity
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty W. Churchill.
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Dreams & Goals
People too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours..
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Losing
Losing is a learning experience. It teaches you humility. It teaches you to work harder. It's also a powerful motivator. Yogi Berra.
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Logical
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity.
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Elevator
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall.
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Oh My!!
Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square.
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Legs Akimbo
Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air.
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Train Delay :-)
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room.
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Adam & Eve
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class.
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Important Days
The two most important days in your life. The day you are born & the day you find out why. Mark Twain.
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Poor Soul :-)
A man died and went to The Judgment, they told him , “Before you meet with God, I should tell you — we’ve looked over your life, and to be honest you really didn’t do anything particularly good or...
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Helping Hands
There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up..
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Selflessness
Try to forget yourself in the service of others. For when we think too much of ourselves and our own interests, we easily become despondent. But when we work for others, our efforts return to bless...
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Well Said
The well bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves. Oscar Wilde.
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Really?
The flashing warning light on the cylindrical Capitol Records tower spells out HOLLYWOOD in Morse code.....
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Up
There is a two letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two letter word – it’s “UP.” It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we waken in...
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Marriage
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad. I heard that in some parts of the world a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her” Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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Ouch :-)
A guy is passing a Mental Hospital surrounded by a wall and he hears the chanting inside, Thirteen. Thirteen. Thirteen.
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Give It A Try :-)
You don't have to be at a desk but you must be sitting. While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles with your right foot. While doing this, draw the number " 6 " in the air with your right hand.
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Where There's A Will :-)
An old man lived alone in scotland. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Jim, who used to help him, was in prison.
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Have Fun
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining..
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Life
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin..
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Fact Or Fiction?
When George Lucas was mixing the American Graffiti soundtrack, he numbered the reels of film starting with an R and numbered the dialog starting with a D.
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Hard Rain
I saw a black branch with blood that kept drippin' I saw a room full of men with their hammers a-bleedin' I saw a white ladder all covered with water I saw ten thousand takers whose tongues were all...
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Office Lunch Rules ;)
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
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Pokers 'v' S*x :))
Having s*x is like playing poker. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand :-).
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Happiness
Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. - Mahatma Gandhi.
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Friends
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.
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Hmmm :-)
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?.
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Always Keep An Open Mind
Question 1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an...
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Mild Mannered
A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife; so he went to a psychiatrist.
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Scottish Proverb :-)
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
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Two Scottish Nuns In America
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replied, "but if we shall live...
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Where Is God?
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous.
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Dublin Bar
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
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Encyclopaedia Britannica
Seen in my local paper's "readers sales" section. FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of encyclopaedia Britannica. 45 Volumes. Excellent condition. £1000 pounds or best offer.
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Life's Book
Each day is the start of a new chapter in the book of like & you are the author. Carpe Diem.
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The 5 Stages Of Drunkenness
Smart: This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen.
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Escaped Convict
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
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Irish Joke
Paddy said to murphy, "I'm thinking of getting a labradore" then murphy said to paddy "are you mad, those things make you go blind".
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Maths Lesson
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many...
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Pet Monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar.
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All Happiness
All happiness comes from daring to begin.
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5 Important Qualities
Five Important Qualities 1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 3.
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Young Rooster
A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed.
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A Night At The OAP Centre
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center.
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