I wish.

I wish I could go back to Christmas Eve, 2010. I wish I could relieve the last Christmas with my grandma. When everyone was happy, when there was nothing for me to worry about. I wish I could go back to May 10, 2011, and see my grandma one last time, and tell her how much I really love her. I wish my family knew how much I think about that day, and how much it hurts me, even though they don't think it does. I wish I could take away the pain from my family members faces' when we celebrate another holiday without my grandma.

I wish I could go back to August 12th, this summer, before my mom got into a fight with her dad. I wish I could make that never happen, that my family didnt fight. I wish I could make everything better.

I wish I could go back to March, and change what happened there so I didn't have trust issues. I wish I could make it so I wasn't afraid of rejection.

I wish that I could go back to middle school, 8th grade especially, when my biggest worry was school being over and being sad. I wish I was still the innocent little 6th grader who didnt have a million things that kept her awake each night thinking. I wish I still could see people from middle school each day.

I wish for a lot of things, things that I know can't happen. Things that are impossible to do. They are the things that I want the most in the world.