Love And War Chpt.75

After a few more days we all agreed that I was better off, flying home. Mum didn't actually say it but I could see in her eyes that she was deeply worried about me, I had been having coughing fits and was coughing up blood. She thought I would be safer the further away from Adams mum as possible, however she made me promise to go to the doctors as soon as I got home.

As the plane gathered speed, as it approached take off, I felt a pang of guilt at the though of leaving Adam. I couldn't help but feel the dark tendrils of despair begin to curl around my heart once more, I came to get Adam and once again I was leaving alone. I looked across to where Lucy sat, with Amelie dozing in her arms. I looked at her face, with Adams miniature features and began to wipe away at what little optimism Lucy had struggled to build out of the situation. My little girl might grow up without a father. I felt my chest constrict. Adams memory might never come back. The tendrils squeezed at my heart. What if Adam gives up and moves on to another woman to start a life and a family with her. I felt as if all the air had been knocked out of my lungs. I started gasping, one of the flight attendants turned back to me. Alarm spread across her face, Lucy looked over and grabbed my hand. 'I...I...' I said clawing at my throat. Lucy screamed for help and the flight attendant came rushing down the aisle. She grabbed on of the sick bags and pressed it to my mouth. I breathed quickly in and out, she rubbed my back soothingly, until my breathing returned to a normal pace. 'thank you.' I exhaled, my body folding in on itself. She nodded and walked away. 'Abby are you ok?' Lucy asked, her face was very pale and her hands were shaking slightly. I nodded and smiled weakly. I brought my knees up to my chest, curling up in a ball and turned to look out of the window. Below us was a sheet of fluffy white clouds, as a child I had always fantasized lying on a cloud looking down at the world below. Living in my perfect fantasy world, where nothing bad happened and life was simply perfect.
I missed the carefree innocence of childhood.

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