For Sale: Earth, $0.10

This ain't your average yard sale, kids,
We've got something new in store.
You're sitting on it,
It's all around you,
Would you like to know more?

There's lots of pretty people,
some are nice, some are evil.
You don't need to buy a government,
We've got one! It's pre-equipped- but
Some call it corrupt-
No matter!

We've got beaches that smell good
And volcanoes that erupt.

Oh! Another thing!
We've got plenty of wars
To entertain
And many politicians that
In jail, you can chain.

This buy's got lovely little trees-
Not many, most are dead-
It's polluted with gas and smoke,
You don't need to know about that.
Will you buy it, you old bloke?

Still more information?
You can take lovely vacations!
Maybe even to the Gulf,
You'll see Global Warming isn't a bluff.
You can go to the big White House
And see our lying, cheating leader himself.

Now I've given you all the information,
You've got all the facts,
I won't rush you-take your time!
I lied, I can't wait that long,
Is it a deal, have we a pact?

So how about it, friend?
I'll give it to you for what it's worth.
A penny, a nickel, maybe a dime,
For our good ol' buddy Earth.

Oh, you won't buy it?
That's really quite a shame.
How about you, dear reader?
No? Are you sure?
It's okay,
I wouldn't buy it either.