Five Reasons Why

I feel really guilty about something but I can't tell people cuz I promise I wouldn't and it's not like it's gonna hurt anyone's feeling but but it will ruin my friendship with someone I have known since I we were like four years old. We were best friends for seven years and. And I have been reading the book "thirteen reasons why" and I have been thinking that if I did kill myself (I'm not going to I promise!) I wonder what my 13 reasons would be.. I've decided I would only have five though. The first would be when I figured out things about my sister. I always thought she was a perfect role model. But I have figured out she isn't. She has done bad things. I had suspicions before but now I know for sure. Two would be (by the way these are not in date order or anything) the first time someone called me fat and ugly and started bullying me. That was in fifth grade. I'm not gonna say who but I remember. The third would be the thing I figured out about my friend. It's been eating me from the inside out and but I can't tell. Fourth would be a certain person. She has said some horrible things to me over the years. She called me fat once. Told me I was ugly. And stupid. She told me I would "grow up to be a prostitute in Vegas while she was sitting in her mansion with her rich husband". She's supposed to be my friend. Doesn't that sound like a friend to you? And the fifth doesn't exist. If it did then maybe I would be writing this with a knife in my hand. Or maybe a gun. If I did have a fifth, I might not be here in a few days. Don't be my fifth reason. I'm begging you.